luna's words

"Winter"

2012-02-01T12:47:00.000-05:00

February 1st. 51 degrees and sunny, with a slight breeze from the south. The grass is green, squirrels are frolicking about (there's a four-squirrel chase going on at the moment), and I am confused to no end. I'm sitting on a bench in a garden I just discovered and everything is positively spring-like except for the leafless trees. And the fact that it's February. In New England.
What is happening. For serious.

Supernerd

2012-01-25T22:39:00.001-05:00

Supernerd status is back. I love being back at college, I enjoy my classes, and find my assigned readings to be fascinating and wonderful. It took serious willpower not to sign up for too many classes, but I've successfully limited myself to four courses and one research position, so my workload is infinitely more manageable than my insane six-course schedule last semester. I'm back to feeling excited about everything I'm doing and I absolutely refuse to feel stressed this semester. Last semester filled my stress-quota for a good long while, so I'm just going to do without for a bit. Excellent plan, yes? Yes.

Everything is looking wonderful :)

Christmas Eve & Winter Activities

2011-12-25T00:44:00.002-05:00

Christmas Eve is generally a pretty good day. Good food, candles, a tree in the living room, shiny packages with nice things you may or may not have strongly hinted at your parents you wanted... these are pretty nice things. So today was good :) I finally found a proper veggie substitute for the steak dinner my family always has (seitan. om nom.), we had lovely French chocolate cake, I picked out the majority of my gifts (I was in dire need of new combat boots and a fancy blazer with elbow patches), and the presents I bought for my brothers were well-received - I got one a wooden model airplane, another a vintage Canadian Artillery blazer, and another a chess set. So overall, I'd declare this day a success. Except for the almost complete lack of snow. For shame. Winter does not seemed to have properly happened yet, which is rather disappointing as I'd hoped to go skiing while I was here. Alas.

Other things to do while here, as skiing does not seem to be an option:

sew
guitar
pottery
horseback-ride
see lovely human beings
read wonderful books
take advantage of Netflix
made a YouTube video. I promise.
look forward to Florida! (I am massively excited for Harry Potter World. I think I can pretty much die happy after seeing Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. What can I say, I'm not hard to please.)
look forward to going back to my own room - it's awfully weird being in what used to be my room in my parents' house and living out of a suitcase. For serious.

For those of you who I get to see now, yayayayay! I missed you loads :) And for those of you who are elsewhere, I miss you now <3

Apologies

2011-12-04T16:18:00.001-05:00

Apologies for being an awful friend this semester. I realize that I haven't had any time to talk with, call, text, Skype, or hang out with anyone, and I'm terribly sorry about that.
I've learned not to give myself too much work and too little time with the people that make me happy. Next semester will be better, I promise :)
Not to mention, I get to see some of you lovely people in less than 2 weeks, which is going to be wonderful :D
And for those of you that I'm leaving in 2 weeks, well, I most definitely won't be the least bit busy and will have plenty of time to pester your via cyberspace since I won't be able to do so irl.
<3

Thanksgiving: College Style

2011-11-25T15:57:00.001-05:00

Traditional Thanksgiving: (so I'm told)
- turkey
- stuffing
- mashed potatoes
- cranberries
- pumpkin pie
- too much eating
- embarrassing family

College Thanksgiving:
- apple marzipan cake
- clementines
- apples
- sketchy microwave food
- canned cranberries
- lukewarm hot chocolate in America mugs
- stolen cutlery
- "his main fault was not being Miranda Priestly"
- ridiculous friends

punkgirlproblems

2011-11-14T21:45:00.001-05:00

Here is a small ranty post.

See, I have this problem. We're going to file this under #punkgirlproblems, because I feel that this really only happens when you look like this.

Alas.

What, then, is this problem? Well, you see, when you decide to adopt this as your particular aesthetic, people tend to make one of two assumptions:

a) You are a lesbian.

b) You will be receptive to the attempts made by boys who consider themselves vaguely "different" or "alternative" in any way to hit on you.

Dear world, these assumptions are both incorrect. No, seriously.

You see this guy?

That would my boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend. And no, he hasn't got a various facial piercings and he doesn't brood over poetry. He's a ridiculously tall person who likes hugs and makes me laugh.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to carry on not being particularly clichéd. Life's much more fun that way.

Advice for any other crazies out there

2011-10-23T22:13:00.003-04:00

When you're in college, don't ever take six classes. Seriously. Worst idea ever.

Usually, you get to choose 2 out of: grades, social life, sleep.

When you take 6 classes, you choose one.

Grades.

>.<

Herro

2011-09-25T14:16:00.002-04:00

Upon my dear Michelle's request, here is an update on my life :)

Gah, apologies for having posted nothing in a month, I'VE BEEN BUSY, OKAY? Fail excuse. But really, I'm taking six classes, it's mildly insane. I spend between 20 and 30 hours a week just reading for class. Madness, sheer madness. But I think I'll be able to manage. I allowed myself two easier classes (Media Communication and Communication & Technology, the former a communications class, the latter an information science class) to make up for the more work-intensive ones (Perception, Personality, History of Exploration, and German). Although German isn't that bad, as usual, we just actually have quizzes/exams unlike in previous semesters, which is terribly sad-making.

I'm also planning to do study abroad in the UK in the spring of 2012, which is massively exciting :D They're making it sound like it'll be horribly difficult, but I'm hoping they're exaggerating. And hopefully I'll be able to sort out housing for next year soon and overlap my going-abroad time with other people's so I won't have to miss them as much. "Fingers crossed", as they say.

In other, non-school-related news:

- I am now certified to use the word "anniversary", which is a long, very grown-up sounding word. <3

- I really really want to read Neuromancer, but I have to read The Voyages of Christopher Columbus first :(

- I'm going to New York ComicCon in October! Eeeeek. Cosplaying the empty child from Doctor Who is going to be so much fun :D I've got my vintage Soviet gas mask and my schoolboy uniform all ready and waiting to terrify con-goers!

- I'm 19 now, which isn't any different from being 18, except for having to remember that I am 19 and not 18.

- My room is wonderfully awesome-looking. I've got all my posters and pictures up (silly room only has one tack strip for posters, like they expected me to only own one wall's worth of posters. ha) and my wicked cool futon under my bed :D

- Chris and I have just hatched the master plan of being Freddie Mercury and David Bowie for Halloween. This is going to be absolutely wicked.

Adventures of University Students

2011-08-21T19:39:00.002-04:00

It's my second day back at my university, and already I have managed to have some ridiculous adventures.

Firstly, I was picked up at the airport by a lovely boy who brought me food and hugs. Quite a nice start to coming home :) We drove to my new dorm which is actually just fantastic. Last year, I lived in a hideous brick anti-riot building from the 70's, but I have since moved up in life. I'm now in a building with air-conditioning, study lounges, and a dining hall. I'm also in a suite with some of my friends, meaning we have our own common room and we each have singles. So excellent. My room is bigger than I expected and I have an actual closet and dresser instead of a fail wardrobe-drawer combo. It's all quite exciting :D

And now for the adventures! The first night, I met up with Chris and went to see his dorm, which is in an ex-frat-house and really quite dodgy. But it has a balcony which we decided to explore. This was all well and good until we got locked out of the house on the balcony. Chris didn't have his key, so we were forced to exit via the conveniently located fire escape, which had a handy ladder that went all the way down to the ground. Lovely. Problem solved. Except Chris still didn't have his key and couldn't face the shame of ringing the doorbell to get the RA at 1am (for the second time in 5 minutes, as we had rung the doorbell to get in in the first place). So Chris instead slept on the couch in my suite, which he felt was less shameful than looking like an utter moron who gets locked out on the balcony.

Then today we set out to go on an exploring adventure. We first headed to the dorm from last year to see if Rose's lamp, which we had left in the Sketchy Lounge instead of attempting to store or donate it, was still there. But the bastards had locked the lounge, which was awfully saddening, but we glimpsed it through the window! IT'S STILL THERE. But as we could not reclaim it, we headed to the laundry room to see if some of the things Chris had found and hidden in the ceiling were still there. They were. SUCCESS.

Later on we headed off to do some proper exploring. During this adventure, we found what was once a very classy garden but is now a forest, a mind-blowing neo-gothic house, a rather impressive war memorial, a massive graveyard full of people from the Civil War and World War I, an abandoned gun factory (this was really frickin' cool), the badly located apartments with their own sketchy white vans, and some lovely old houses that really shouldn't belong to frats. 'Twas an excellent adventure.

Tomorrow we're going gorge exploring. I love this place and how entirely odd it is.

leider, alleine

2011-07-28T19:17:00.002-04:00

I sometimes am hit with the thought that I'm in a country where I haven't a single friend. It's a really odd feeling. Not to say that I don't have people to spend time with. I do. But they're all my family. I don't see them a lot, so I'm glad to have the time with them. But there are moments when I'm a bit overwhelmed with the thought that I haven't spent time with a single friend for two months. All I have is Skype, email, text chat and such, but that's not the same as going to see Deathly Hallows in full costume with all your friends, meandering downtown with some of your favorite people, or just sitting contentedly doing nothing with someone really close.

Instead, I saw Deathly Hallows by myself, and when I wander downtown, I go alone. Doing nothing is done solitarily. It's not how I would like it to be.

And it's very strange for me to be this alone. I've always made friends very quickly and easily - it's just that in my daily circumstances (work, wandering, or hanging out with my extended family) aren't exactly ripe environments for the creation of new friendships. Work is work, where we are tired, fairly little is said, and we have no basis for friendship. And I can't exactly start approaching random people I see on the street and start up a conversation - this isn't a college campus. In the Real World, that's creepy.

But I usually don't notice that I am friendless - I'm busy doing other things - so I suppose it's fine. It's just that when I do notice, it's terribly overwhelming, and rather awful.

I could do with a hug. A real-world hug. But hell, I'll settle for a cyberhug, as it seems that that's all that is available to me.

Just over a week until I get to see some of my favorites :) I miss you. All of you.

Flying

2011-07-22T17:56:00.003-04:00

Flying is an exceedingly strange experience. Someone asked me today if it isn't just like driving a car. HAHAHAHAHA NO. Allow me to explain. Firstly, you have to think in far more directions than forward/backward/left/right; you've got all of spacetime to take into account, it's ridiculous. When you drive a car, you don't usually have to worry about the road under you suddenly giving way. When you're flying, there is no road. Once you leave that runway, you are, in fact, flying. You have to worry about dropping out of the sky if you fuck up, not just running off the road.

I suppose the second most obvious difference would have to be steering. In a car, the steering wheel controls the front tires. In a plane, a joystick controls the ailerons and elevators and foot pedals control the rudder. Little more complexity involved. Speaking of which, in a car, there are pretty much only two dials you worry about: the speedometer and the fuel gauge. In contrast, have you ever seen the inside of a cockpit? I was making a left-hand turn today, and I had to keep my eye on no fewer than five dials to make sure I was doing it properly (maintaining speed and altitude, monitoring the angle of the turn, making sure I wasn't off-kilter).

And lastly, when you're driving, the road doesn't move. Air moves. There's this fun thing called turbulence that likes to toss about tiny planes like the Diamond DA20 and screw up Thora's theoretically nice turning maneuvers. So, I'd have to say, no, flying and driving are in no way comparable. I promise. Try it if you don't believe me.

Seriously, it's awesome.

Post-Potter

2011-07-14T19:04:00.005-04:00

Last night, I went to the last Harry Potter movie premiere. I'm still in denial that it's all over. I suppose I've still got Harry Potter World left, though.

But Part 2 of Deathly Hallows was amazing. It was beautifully done, and for the most part consistent with the book. Along with Part 1, it makes a magnificent representation of the book. I wish that all the films had been done like these past two have - accurately, artistically, amazingly. But what the film series lacks even more than the accuracy and beauty of these two is overall consistency. Directors and actors were changed too often, making the films all seem completely disconnected from each other. They don't feel like part of the same story, which is unfortunate, because some of them were wonderfully done. I only hope that I'm around for the inevitable retcon and that the directors and screenwriters of the future will keep things a bit more consistent and a bit more accurate.

And now for some Deathly Hallows quotes <3

“I’m George,” said the twin at whom Moody was pointing. “Can’t you even tell us apart when we’re Harry?” “Sorry, George—“ “I’m only pulling your wand, I’m Fred really—“ – Fred & George, Chapter 4

“Death’s got an Invisibility Cloak?” Harry interrupted again. “So he can sneak up on people,” said Ron. “Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking…” – Ron, Chapter 21

“[the Death Eaters] bit off a bit more than they could chew with Gran. Little old witch living alone, they probably thought they didn’t need to send anyone particularly powerful. Anyway,” Neville laughed, “Dawlish is still in St. Mungo’s and Gran’s on the run.” – Neville, Chapter 29

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” - Dumbledore

Couch Hobo

2011-06-15T20:01:00.003-04:00

Helllooooo.

Excellent news! I am no longer an unemployed couch hobo! Being an employed couch hobo is so much better :D

But yes, since I didn't get the job I was originally supposed to, the past week has been spent job-hunting, and as of today, I think I'm set. I did a trial day at a bakery and didn't fuck anything up too badly, it seems. Yay, my bank account can stop being empty now!

In other news, I actually made a video yesterday for the first time in... months. So yay for having time to do things like record myself rambling about narrow roads and things.

I would like to end this completely disjointed post by saying that people in this country can't park. Seriously, I should make a documentary about the various methods used by Icelanders to avoid parking properly, such as going through only the first half of the procedure to parallel park. Yes, this does leave the car sticking out into the road at an angle. Does anyone seem to give fuck? No.

Meanwhile, in Iceland

2011-06-08T05:23:00.002-04:00

And I'm in a different time zone again! My sleep schedule loves this.

Storytime!

Because Icelandair decided to be frickin' expensive, I didn't get a direct flight. So I had a 3.5-hour layover at JFK. Originally, I thought this was going to be horrid, since this route and layover would make the trip twice as long as a direct flight. However, it turned out to be quite nice when Avery showed up, bringing me food and a dragon named Grindelwald :)

The second flight of the trip was really long. Much longer than I thought it would be. I suppose they at least bothered to feed passengers "dinner" and "breakfast". But, you know, it was still airplane food.

Then, when I finally landed, and I hadn't slept at all for an awfully long time, I got picked up from the airport and driven to where there was real food and a place to sleep. Success.

I've now been here for two days, and I still don't know if I'll have a job. My "interview" keeps getting pushed back, and I'm really hoping that I won't be so terribly far away from everyone for such a long time for no reason :/ That would be upsetting.

Also, Jesus Christ, what is with this 23 hours of daylight? I'll never get used to this nonsense.

California Highlights

2011-06-04T17:15:00.003-04:00

Herro there.

I got back from California on Thursday night. Here are the highlights:

Fanime:

Did a group cosplay of twisted fairy tales. It was delightfully creepy! :D I walked around as Gretel with a basket of gingerbread cookies muttering in German. So much fun. Went to a couple of panels (Awesomely Bad J-Music Videos, and Making a Comic), wandered about Artist Alley and the Dealers Hall, took pictures of people's awesome cosplays, subsisted on granola bars and free food, and had a generally grand time.

LA:

Took the 10-hour-long train ride to LA. Trains are so infinitely better than airplanes, it's ridiculous. We got a compartment in a sleeper car and got two free meals. Actual meals. Not like airplane food, which tastes suspiciously like styrofoam.

I then spent the one full day I had in LA in Venice Beach/Santa Monica with Alice and Margaret, wandering about looking at the art stands and pretending we weren't too old to play on the swings. Unfortunately, the swings were a bit on the short side :P

Then I came back to the middle of nowhere for a couple days, and I'm heading off to Iceland tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully the master plan to receive hugs and pizza during my JFK layover will work <3

Farewell to Hogwarts

2011-05-20T11:01:00.002-04:00

Farewell to Hogwarts today. I jokingly sent Avery a text saying I was essentially homeless now. Until August, that is. In the meantime, I shall be living in other people's houses on their couches. How exceedingly strange it is not to have a permanent place to call home anymore. It's going to be changing every year for a while now.

I'm at the airport now. Second most un-legit airport I've ever been to, it's great (the other is the Reykjavik airport - not to be confused with the Keflavik one). The TSA dudes are super chill. We had a conversation about my guitar and the Ramones (apparently they had a show here in the 80s). And now I'm using their FREE INTERWEBS. Why don't all airports have free internet? They really should. But I digress. Now I'm just going to wait here for another hour until my flight leaves.

Then I have a layover.

And another flight.

Then I get real food.

Serious business.

Nearly Finished

2011-05-17T18:21:00.005-04:00

Augh my room is a mess of boxes! It feels like a live game of Tetris or some similar nonsense.

On the plus side: only have one or two boxes left to pack, plus my printer and a kind of huge painting. Don't really know how that's going to work.

Work left:

final edits on my utopia
study psychology for one more day
laundry
finish packing

Almost done. So close.

Things to do once I'm home:

somehow manage to see an awful lot of my favorite people
sew things
eat delicious organic food
hug Jack and Basco until they get bored of me
ride a proper horse
Skype

Things to do while in California:

Fanime!
hang out with my lovelys that I see only once a year
enjoy summer weather
be nerdy. Super nerdy.
Skype

Things to do while in Iceland:

work
eat the best chocolate on the planet
draw
program. This is also work
sew things
send postcards
enjoy the not-really-summer weather
Skype

Summer, So Soon?

2011-04-24T19:48:00.002-04:00

I'm only here for four more weeks. Less than that, actually. And this thought is a little overwhelming.

This means exams, final projects, final papers, packing, storage, shipping, luggage, buses, airports, airplanes, goodbyes. None of these are any fun at all. It's like Harry feels about leaving Hogwarts - none too thrilled.

A few days after I get back to my parents' house though, I'll be off to Fanime, which will be lovely. I'll get to go to a con, see the friends I haven't seen in a year, and relax a bit.

And then two days after I get back from the land of sunshine and anime, I'm off to Iceland. That's barely enough time to figure out what fucking timezone I'm in. And hopefully the day after I land in Middle Earth, I'll start work. But I don't know this for sure. I'll be there for two months, but I'm not guaranteed a job until I actually get there and talk to a few people in person, which is really frustrating. I could end up being there for those months with nothing to do, and that would be absolutely horrible. I'm not fond of uncertainty like that. But on the plus side, I will get to see my grandparents and the rest of my family for the first time in a year and actually get to spend time with them. And the weather will be nice and cool, albeit a bit rainy. But I'll take that over 90 F and humid any day. Unfortunately I'll miss out on all the awesome food like raspberries and peaches and such that usually come with summer. They usually don't bother to import much of that :/

And then I get back to my parents' house in early August, stay there for less than two weeks, enjoy a bit of organic food, see some friends (though these few days will not by any means be enough, I feel a bit cheated out of that), and then finally come back here again. What a relief that will be. Despite the work, the climate, the food, the slight isolation - despite all this, I fricking love this place, and I hate the thought of leaving. This is the place where I am happiest, because I'm around people I love, I'm free to do whatever I please, and I actually care about the things I'm learning. But soon I'll have to leave these people and go on to do terribly mundane work. I'm just glad that when I'm in Iceland I'll be free to do what I wish. At least there's that.

Spring at Hogwarts

2011-04-10T16:01:00.003-04:00

I think it's finally decided to be spring, which is fricking fantastic. It was 50-something degrees yesterday and Chris and I decided to "do homework outside" since the weather was so lovely. Of course, this turned into us (and later also Avery and Alex) just lying on blankets in the grass, half-dozing in the rare sunlight. Pretty great. Of course this means I actually have to do work today, but no matter. At least I don't have to spend my entire weekend in CS office hours like I've been doing for the past couple of weeks.

Also, Friday there was a "Night at Hogwarts" event, which was quite lovely. Obviously, I went in full Hogwarts attire. They had a bunch of people playing the professors, the Malfoys, Bellatrix, Voldemort, Rita Skeeter, the 3 protagonists, and a couple of dementors. This was, of course, wonderful. The guy who played Voldemort was terrifying, even when I saw him out of costume and in his fire-department pajamas later on. Then there were live Potter Puppet Pals and people running about in house elf costumes. Eventually there was food, which included chocolate frogs and butterbeer. And Quirrel came into the Great Hall shouting about trolls in the dungeon. Wins all around.

Life Direction

2011-03-31T19:28:00.004-04:00

I think I finally have a vague idea of what I want to do with my life. This is really exciting.

I went to advising yesterday to ask them what to do with my life and I was told to just keep taking classes in interesting subjects. That would lead to a major and that would lead to a job or grad school ideas. This didn't seem particularly helpful at the time, but it got me to look at what I'm doing in a different manner. And now, after looking at the list of classes for next semester, I think I know what I want to do.

The plan right now is to either double major in Psychology (with a social psychology concentration) and German Studies and to minor in Information Science, or to major in Psychology and double minor in German Studies and Information Science.

Until now I'd been debating between majoring in psych and info sci, until it occurred to me that I don't have to choose between those subjects - I can do both fairly easily. In fact, I'm already a good fraction of the way through the requirements for the info sci and German minors and the psychology major. I really just need to keep doing what I've been doing and I'll end up with these degrees. And with them, I can either go to grad school and get a PhD in psychology and become a professor or something equally awesome or go straight to working for some company utilizing my knowledge of human interaction with technology. Both of these sound absolutely awesome.

Guess things weren't as complicated as I thought :)

Tim Burton and I Should Be Friends

2011-03-26T20:50:00.002-04:00

I now own enough striped things to look like I belong in a Tim Burton movie. Life goal complete.

New York Adventures

2011-03-25T21:44:00.003-04:00

I got back from the wondrous land of New York City last night.

Day 1

Horrifically long bus ride. We decided to save money and take the subway instead of a taxi to our hotel. This ended up being a terrible idea as we were all (Chris, Rose, and I) massive subway n00bs. We went in the wrong direction twice, and it took us over an hour to actually get to the hotel and drop off our things. We had a nice ninja moment sneaking Chris in (as the room was only for 2 people and we were clearly exceeding capacity).

We then went for a bit of a stroll and explored NYC for a bit, which was great. We began the habit of sneaking into posh hotels by getting to the 33rd floor of the Waldorf Astoria and pretending that we totally belonged there. Chipotle for dinner. Also snuck into the New York Palace hotel. Schmancy, but no Waldorf :P

Not too bad a start.

Day 2

Actually came up with a set plan for what we wanted to see that day: H&M, Nintendo World, Times Square, and Forever 21. Somehow this ended up taking up all day. We get distracted ever so easily. Mostly by clothes and shiny things. All of us spent far too much money on clothes.

At some point we snuck into the Michelangelo hotel and then ate awesome Thai food for dinner (I actually don't think Thai food comes in any sort but awesome). Took a bit of a detour from Times Square to the Disney store, which ended up with all of us getting far too excited about children's toys and keychains and the like.

We then headed back to the hotel and it was my turn to sleep on the floor (3 people, 2 bunks, 1 spot on the floor, 3 nights, each got a night in the sleeping back) which was great fun.

Day 3

A day for srs bsns. Serious touristy business, that is. Central Park, Empire State, Chrystler Building, Grand Central Station, New York Public Library, Koreatown (only half of these were actually part of the plan, the other half we stumbled upon completely by accident in between stumbling into posh shops where we couldn't afford anything.) We also ended up spending about an hour and a half inside FAO Schwarz because we are, in fact, children. It was great.

We ate dinner in Koreatown and then managed to find a wonderfully epic (and super ghetto) clothing store on our way back in which Rose and I managed to find awesome shoes for $10. Not bad at all.

Day 4

We woke up early so we could get a bit of exploring in before checkout time. Exploring turned into Chris spending the last of his money on clothes at H&M, which wasn't all too unexpected :P

We then checked out of the hotel and headed to the subway. Chris and Rose got off at the bus station and I got off at Penn Station to take the train for a visit to Avery's house. The duration of the hour-long train ride was spent in marveling at how all of post-industrial America looks exactly the same. And it's not particularly pretty. Avery then picked me up at the train station and we had lunch at a diner (where I got to consume and omelette made of real eggs. This doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is). We then drove to his house whereupon a mildly awkward meeting-the-parents session ensued.

Later that night, we went with a couple of his friends to see the movie Paul, which ended up being nerdy and wonderful.

Day 5

Last day. Slept in. Real food for breakfast and lunch :D Real food. It's awesome. Doesn't happen a lot, though. Hung out with another small group of friends, watched some BET, chilled. 'Twas nice :) Avery then drove me back to the train station. Then the train took me back to the city, a cab took me to the bus station, and the bus took me back to school. Thus ended the adventure.

6

2011-03-19T01:12:00.003-04:00

Thanks for the past 6 months, they've been ever so lovely :)

Lucky Indeed

2011-03-14T17:52:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I hear things that make me appreciate how very very lucky I am.

To the 5 or 6 of you who read this: thanks for decreasing world suck, not forgetting to be awesome, and being generally lovely human beings who make me laugh and contribute greatly to my happiness.

Housing

2011-03-07T23:09:00.003-05:00

It's ridiculous that choosing housing is as stressful as it is. Especially around wonderfully neurotic characters who are freaking out about being able to get a room xD Even with the second timeslot, we barely got the rooms we wanted. But we've got a suite in the most coveted building on campus, so that's pretty wicked. And there will be so many people living in it. My room and the common room will be full of intruders who didn't get ideal places to live. It's going to be great :) I won't be the one friend who doesn't live in the same building as everyone else. It's very exciting. And I'll have space! Singles ftw. Well, some of that space will be taken up by someone, but this is so very okay :)

I'm excited for next year already. And also astounded that we're about halfway through second semester already. That's terrifying! In no time at all, I'll have to enter the real world and actually do something with my life :O Scary shit, man.

But anyways. Next year. It shall be awesome. It's been decided.

Try This At Home

2011-03-06T17:35:00.002-05:00

"Try This At Home" - Frank Turner

This song is so full of awesome.

For example:

"Let's inherit the earth, 'cause no one else is taking it"

"We write love songs in C, we do politics in G, we sings songs about our friends in E minor"

"The only thing that punk rock should ever really mean is not sitting 'round and waiting for the lights to go green"

"There's no such things as rock stars, there's just people who play music. And some of them are just like us and some of them are dicks"

Forward

2011-03-02T17:37:00.002-05:00

I'm getting myself through the next couple of weeks by looking forward to certain things and not freaking out over the immense amount of work I have to do. And worrying for other people, too. When did I become so freaking empathic? It's a bit inconvenient, to be honest, but I guess it makes me a good person or something. So, theoretically, I should feel great about my empathy skills. Anyways. How about some lists?

Exciting things:

Choosing housing for next year. (ok, this is also potentially stressful, but mostly kind of exciting)
March 19th. Bit of a milestone <3
Spring break :) New York City, man. It shall be awesome. (after I book the hostel and figure out bus tickets. I should do that. Today.)
Just the little, everyday things like lunch and dinner with awesome people.

Scary things:

Psych research paper. There's plenty of time until it's due, but I feel like I have so little time to do it. I should have done it this weekend, but CS took over my day (as did the unproductiveness that always arises when I'm having a mild panic over what I'm doing with my life. Which generally results after talking to my parents. Very inconvenient.)
Possibly my English prelim? Although I feel it can't be too bad, I haven't missed a lecture or a reading. And it's interesting stuff. And I remember interesting stuff.
CS prelim. Most definitely. So afraid. I can almost guarantee I'll be needing consolation hugs after that ordeal.

And the rest of my worries, like irritatingly busy-work German homework, aren't scary, rather just a bit inconvenient. I was hoping to use the mental RAM on something a bit more happy-making. I'll see if I can stop running a few programs to make room for them :)

State of Mind

2011-02-23T21:43:00.002-05:00

I should be studying for psych right now. I'm going to go do that. but I just kind of wanted to get this out of my system. I was kind of thinking about it a bit today, and I felt it'd be therapeutic to just draw this out. And it was. It's kind of weird that a lot of my friends have only seen one or the other of these states, so I thought an explanation of sorts might help.

Sorry my handwriting is horrid, btw xD

(Shortened) 7 Sins meme

2011-02-22T20:40:00.002-05:00

I haven't written anything in a while, so I thought I'd do a shortened version of a meme I saw elsewhere. Yaaayyy so interesting :P

Pride

Something good about me: I don't fight with people. My honesty, bluntness, and general distaste for conflict of any kind are probably the cause of this.

Envy

Something I lack and covet: The ability to memorize things well. I'm massively jealous of people who can look at a formula or read a page and just know it. I have to go over things so many times in order to remember them.

Wrath

Something that annoys/angers me: Genuinely thick people. This probably makes me an asshole, but I don't care, I can't stand sub-par intelligence.

Sloth

Something I neglect to do: Practice guitar enough. I really should practice every day, but I don't D: Faaaaail.

Greed

Material desire: A nice trenchcoat. Captain Jack Harkness-style.

Gluttony

A guilty pleasure: Green Day. I can't help liking them :]

Lust

(This one is labeled as "love secret". I feel like by this point, it's pretty obvious who I might be a LITTLE BIT fond of <3)

Tolerance

2011-02-15T16:39:00.002-05:00

Tolerance for me is a default. A natural state. So I really don't understand how intolerance manifests and flourishes so universally.

For German, I had to read a couple chapters of a book on culture. Some parts of this reading focused on the conflicts that emerge between different cultures. It's an omnipresent problem, it's been the cause of wars for centuries, and continues to be an issue today.

My question is "why?" No, really. I don't understand why people must be intolerant of others just because they're a bit different - whether this difference is in appearance, religion, belief, politics, culture, language, sexuality, or taste in music. Why is it so difficult to just accept everyone? I honestly cannot wrap my mind around why humanity does this to itself - creates these unnecessary rifts. I don't like unfounded conflict, dammit.

I love my Americans, Asians, Jews, Somalians, Muslims, atheists, Icelanders, Englishmen, Christians, punks, hippies, Californians, New Yorkers, posh kids, weirdos, Canadians, gays, geeks, straights, Buddhists, nerds, and even the occasional Republican.

It's not that hard. They're all lovely in their own ways. Why can't everyone see that?

lessthanthree

2011-02-15T11:42:00.002-05:00

hugs

a rose

a Hungarian Horntail

a sonic screwdriver

chocolate

Polish chocolate

Star Wars action figures

drawings

letters in bad handwriting

real food

invisible ink

those 3 grin-inducing words

yesterday was nice :)

Nationality

2011-02-09T17:04:00.002-05:00

When people ask me where I'm from, I tell them, "Iceland". That is my nationality and my ancestry, after all. And throughout my elementary and secondary education, I was always known as the Icelandic kid. But in Iceland, I'm introduced as the American relative and people marvel at the impeccability of my Icelandic. Well no shit, guys, it's the first language I learned. My name is Thora, for Christ's sake. I'm every bit as much an Icelander as you are. And yet my dad still complains about his kids being such Americans (whatever that means) whenever anyone will listen, while my friends laugh at me for being so European. Clearly neither category encompasses me very well, which is rather annoying. Nationality is usually just a given, but in both countries I'm still a bit of an outsider. Which, although adding to the "mysterious foreign girl" air, is a bit confusing.

Aw, fuck it.

Hi, I'm Thora, I'm from Middle Earth.

Yeah, that'll do.

Things I Discovered Yesterday

2011-02-06T12:49:00.002-05:00

- I'm really good at doing things that are due in a week. Bad at doing things that are due tomorrow. Fail.

- I don't care about copyright laws in Germany. gaaaaahhh. Stop giving me assignments about them. When we talk about the German music industry in class can we please just listen to Rammstein or something?

- I still have no idea what to do with my life. This confusion is increased because I'm not nearly as good at information science as I thought I'd be. The problem is that I'm good at many things, but excellent at very little. fuuuuuuuck.

- Listening to the entirety of the London Calling album over and over again never gets old.

- Top Gear Australia is inferior to Top Gear UK. Probably even without cheating.

- Boyfriends make excellent pillows.

- I am so atrocious at video games.

- "What does David Tennant's sonic screwdriver look like?" is a really subtle question. :)

5 Things

2011-02-02T17:58:00.003-05:00

3 of my 4 classes today were cancelled due to a snowstorm that didn't seem to have happened at all. And then it rained and hailed on my way to my one class. *confusion* But, hey, can't complain about only having one lecture, now can I?

Today, my reading assignment for social psychology attempted to explain the nature of attraction. After reading the entirety of the 40-page chapter, I feel no less enlightened. It basically just stated the obvious - proximity, similarity, attractiveness, social exchange theory. That's fairly self-explanatory. But no one falls in love with every nice-looking person who lives close by and shares your interests and opinions on some matters. I guess parts of the social exchange theory were the most helpful (we like people who make us feel good to just be ourselves - which isn't really surprising, I guess, but that could help tip the balance between friendship and more than that) And so attraction remains a bit of an enigma. Which seems kind of fitting.

I re-dyed my hair today, which means that it smells of artificial grape, and my hands are stained a bit purple. And when it rained on me today, my hair started bleeding purple. That was fun.

I need a break from all the CS I've done today. PHP, Y U NO WORK? That is all.

I don't think I actually have a 5th thing worth stating at this moment. I just don't like even numbers. Or symmetry. Fuck that shit.

Gutes Leben

2011-01-29T14:31:00.003-05:00

I still can't believe this worked 4 months ago.

But I am really glad it did.

Also, I get to read sci-fi for class. Such a fan of this.

I'm already nerding out about next week's web design homework.

I am finding ways to make room for more LPs on my wardrobe. I need to fit some Ramones and Stiff Little Fingers there.

I just had CTB for a seriously late lunch. OM NOM.

So, basically, life is good.

Work and Words

2011-01-26T19:58:00.003-05:00

Gahhh I have so much textbook reading to do right now, I'd almost rather be doing math.

Almost. Because most of my classes seem cool. They accidentally all seem to be about communication/information in some way. All but web programming are heavily reading-based, it seems, though. Which is loads of fun already, as you can imagine. What happened to that 3-week gap of doing nothing that we had at the beginning of last semester? I would like one of those please. It's only Wednesday of the first week and I already feel deeply entrenched into the semester. This bodes so well.

But other than that, life is good. I'm back with my favorites (Wait. Not quite. Michelle, get your ass over here).

Also, I've discovered that 3 words can make me grin like an idiot for ages. :)

Excitement and Things

2011-01-22T09:32:00.003-05:00

Today, the influx of awesome people begins. Nearly everyone comes back today :D

Not that those who are here already aren't good enough :P <3

And being the massive nerd that I am, I am ridiculously stoked for classes to start on Monday.

The Schedule:

M/W/F: History of Information Societies, German Lifestyle, Utopian Literature, Intermediate Programming for the Web (oh god 4 classes in one day, what am I thinking)

T/TH: Social Psychology

Of course, for these classes I have to buy books and I'm trying to avoid thinking about how ridiculously pricy they are. I have the money for them and everything, I'd just rather be spending it on food. Or trips to NYC or something. Because I know I won't get any of it back. Book buy-back is a LIE. You want to know how much money I got back for my books last semester? $3. Three measly dollars. I couldn't even buy lunch with that. The bastards only took back one of my books, and that one wasn't even a proper textbook, it was just the bloody Remains of the Day. *rageface*

ANYWAYS.

Apparently I will be attending events at the local Slytherin frat house if all goes well. That will be a decidedly interesting adventure. Socializing with posh people... I can do that. I'll just avoid the girls and talk to the frat brothers about cars or something. That'll work! I mean, they apparently seemed to like the idea of me from Avery's descriptions: "so I have this purple-haired Icelandic girlfriend who watches Top Gear." hahaha. My strangeness is kind of great.

Home At Last

2011-01-19T17:13:00.003-05:00

I am home in my anti-riot building and I am so happy.

I'm ridiculously excited about seeing the people who have or haven't arrived yet, to take loads of awesome classes, to watch Skins on Friday nights and anime on Saturday, to go to Nasties at midnight even though no one's actually hungry, and to walk through this amazing place every day.

Home is lovely. :)

Soon

2011-01-17T00:27:00.002-05:00

I really need to get out of here.

Nearly everyone else is gone.

I'm tired of the people in this house openly showing their utter loathing for me.

I want to see all the people I've missed for this month.

I want to have things to do and places to go.

I want my classes to start and my idleness to end.

I want to play my own guitars, sleep in my own bed, work at my own desk.

I want to feel at home.

In 1.5 days, I will.

So soon. <3

College Visit

2011-01-16T01:00:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was Friday night. What do I usually do on Friday nights? Watch Firefly or Skins with the friend group, hang out with people - nothing terribly out of the ordinary, generally. Yesterday, however, there was a bit of a change.

I'd decided to visit my friend (and roomie from nerd camp) Karen, whom I hadn't seen in a year, as she goes to a college a bit over an hour away from my parents' house. Excellent plan, no? Correct. Plans, however, are not things that I ever seem to be able to get along with.

The Original Plan: take the Volkswagen around 5 or 6 and drive to Karen's college so I could be there by 7.

The Rents' Problem With The Plan: snow, traffic, parking, other ridiculous parental worries that make no logical sense seeing as how I know how to drive thank you very much.

The Alternate Plan: have my mother drive me to the mall and take a shuttle bus from there to the college.

What Actually Occurred: my mother drove me to the mall. I waited for the bus in the cold for an hour. AN HOUR. It never came. wtf. This resulted in: "er, mom. Think you could drive me the rest of the way since you wouldn't lend me the car?" Right. Then, due to snow and traffic (wheyyyy), the 45-minute drive became around twice that. Joyous day.

But I finally got there.

Turns out, Friday was the birthday of one of Karen's friends. This, of course, meant that there was a party* being held for this occasion. So we went to that. As expected, this was a celebration with all the essentials: dodgy lighting, cheap soda, cheap beer, little space, drunk people. The usual. So that was... interesting.

*something which I successfully avoided all of first semester. I go on break, and look what happens. Such is my life. xD

Then Karen and I decided to go back to her room and watch The Princess Bride because our cool levels are off the charts like that. 'Twas excellent.

I then slept on Karen's floor and awoke sometime between 8 and half past in order to obtain breakfast. Lucky me, being there on one of the infamous Fail Days in which the dining hall served hilariously fail food. YES.

[the above account probably sounds ranty, but I actually quite enjoyed myself after the whole bus, driving, awkward-party-where-I-know-about-2-people bits. Because seeing friends is FUN.]

I then took a bus (which actually arrived. On schedule, even) downtown to hang out with Michelle and Alex. This was great fun. Many Eddie Izzard and Monty Python references were made, so obviously it was a successful social event.

Overall, I'd declare this a pretty awesome start to the weekend :D

Plus I get to go home in 2.5 days, which is lovely.

How I've Been Spending Time

2011-01-08T00:29:00.002-05:00

I have spent so much time in the past few days sewing. It's mildly ridiculous. But now my cosplay is finished! Yay. Now I just need to go to the fabric store so I can start on something a bit more... practical.

Learned the first half of "Classical Gas", which I'm quite proud of because Mason Williams is just mad.

Finally got around to listening to The Business. I really like them. This song especially: "Do They Owe Us A Living" [why are there no good versions of this song online?]

Pottery reunion with Carolyn and Sam :) Successfully prevented anyone from getting anything done and probably managed to embarrass Sam in public just by being in his presence. Mission accomplished.

Reading Neverwhere. Neil Gaiman is awesome.

Watching SO MUCH Robin Hood (the BBC show). Revived my childhood wishes of being an outlaw in Sherwood Forest, not gonna lie.

Skype times :)

Helping carpenters get their cars out of snow banks. nbd, guys, I'm a superhero. Or something.

Watching Kaylinn play Age of Empires for about 2 hours :D

Wasting time on the tubes. Specifically deviantART, YouTube, Reddit, and xkcd.

Reading Romantically Apocalyptic and freaking out over how amazing the art is.

Altogether, not too bad.

10 and a half days. :]

Idle

2011-01-04T17:19:00.002-05:00

Oh look, it's a new year and all that.

It's only been four days, and thus far, it's been horrifically dull. I've quite honestly done next to nothing. Boredom is not my friend. There have been a few highlights, though, of course: seeing a few people, skyping in the middle of the night, working on my cosplay for Fanime and such.

But I really need to find something to do with myself. I detest being idle.

Things I could be doing right now but somehow can't make myself do:

- practicing playing "Classical Gas"

- reading one of the 8 books sitting on my dresser

- catching up on 2 months worth of YouTube subscriptions

- finishing my cosplay

It's odd, these are all things I didn't have the time to do while I was at school, but now that I've got this seemingly endless expanse of time in which to do them, I can't bring myself to do anything. It's not a pleasant feeling, this apathy. I know it all too well and I am seriously unfond.

So really, all I want to do right now is to fast-forward time to a spot two weeks from now. Because by that time, my plane will have landed, and I'll probably be in a cab on the way back to the place that feels a lot more like home than this does.

2010

2010-12-31T01:15:00.002-05:00

It started the way 2009 ended: dull, thoroughly depressing, in the goddamn middle of nowhere. But then it got better. Loads better.

January: Lots of apathy. The usual at that time.

February: No motivation. So close and simultaneously so far from being done with high school and all the stupid people I had to deal with.

March: Studying for AP.

April: Bon Jovi :D Received my housing application from university ^^

May: AP. fml.

June: Graduation. Things starting to look up.

July: California. Iceland. Good times all around.

August: Lollapalooza + Moved to university. Beginning of good, excellent, wonderful things like happiness.

September: Beginnings of more good things <3

October: Content Thora is content.

November: Life is good.

December: Back to middle of nowhere for a bit. I can deal.

So yeah, past June, not a bad year at all :)

Life

2010-12-30T16:39:00.003-05:00

I'm going to do my utmost to not sound pretentious right now.

So I was clicking the 'random' button on xkcd today, and these two popped up:

Nihilism

Interesting Life

[go read those]

These prompted some thoughts on life.

1. There's no higher meaning. Fairly straightforward.

2. This does not mean that there is no point.

3. The point is to make things a bit more interesting. Have adventures. Do potentially stupid things. Not worry too much. Live for today every once in a while. Have a bit of fun while you're at it.

4. This is how I live my life. It's great. You should try it sometime.

Selves

2010-12-25T14:26:00.003-05:00

I sometimes wonder what past me would think of current me. What would 10-year-old Thora think of 18-year-old Thora? I'm trying to remember what kind of person I was 8 years ago, and I'm thinking that little me would have been kind of terrified of the person I am now xD The punk aesthetic, the sometimes acerbic wit, all the wonderful crazy people I surround myself with - those probably would have freaked out quiet, meek, cheery little 10-year-old me.

I find this idea highly amusing.

This also leads me to wonder what I would think of who I will become.

Oho, deep thoughts. The usual.

Merlin's beard, I'm writing about conflict between past and present selves, aren't I? Aw, no. I finished an essay about this just over a week ago. NO MORE. Begone, deep thoughts! :P

Decent

2010-12-21T18:13:00.002-05:00

So far, things here have been surprisingly... chill. It's odd, but I like it.

No weird control-freaky things have occurred, which is a wondrous improvement.

I've been able to stay out late, take the car, and do what I please without hindrance.

One of my brothers out of the goddamn kindness of his heart (<-- dripping sarcasm) is letting me borrow his old acoustic guitar that he never actually uses, so I won't be completely guitar-less for these four weeks.

Being able to blast music without having to worry about if it annoys my roomies is nice.

I get texts from certain lovely people every day.

The rents haven't noticed the industrial yet.

I've been seeing a lot of my old friends.

Organic food makes me so happy. And being able to make my own food.

Hot Topic. I am such a loser, but I missed it.

Driving with the music far too loud.

SNOW. Copious amounts of snow.

Obviously, there are the daily irritations of family and such, but I think I'll be able to deal for this month. I'll just stay out of the house as much as I can and focus on the good bits. :)

Angst Angst Angst

2010-12-17T22:52:00.004-05:00

You know the Potter Puppet Pals sketch "Wizard Angst" in which Harry beats his head against a wall muttering, "angst angst angst"? Kind of what I feel like doing now. Why? Because HELP HELP I'M BEING REPRESSED AUGH.

I mentioned before that going "home" for break will be really weird. It kind of just dawned on me (again) that it has the great potential to also be hellish. Why, you ask? Because, as I discovered earlier this semester, freedom is one of the most important contributing factors to my happiness. And in my parents' house there is little of that. It's the kind of thing that is highly irritating but you can't do much about, so you get used to it. But I've had a taste of freedom, and going back to 10 pm curfews and "text us when you get there" is going to drive me mad. My parents called me today to ask about my trip tomorrow. They are set on calling me at every goddamn checkpoint in it as if I can't navigate an airport or a bus station. This is infuriating. I know it's because they "worry about me" and all that rubbish, but really, can't they trust me as a competent individual at this point in my life? They haven't seen me in four months. I clearly don't need babysitting. I'm a legal adult, goddammit, and I shouldn't have to be monitored.

I know I'm just ranting angrily and incoherently in a pathetic "augh my life sucks" sort of way, but I just need to get this out of my system so that I can figure out how to cope with all of these restraints again.

I'm going to stop now.

On a cheerier note, I'll get to see all the people I've sorely missed.

And to those that I'm leaving (or have already left): I miss you. All you crazy fuckers. <3

Me

2010-12-16T11:47:00.005-05:00

Why parents don't like me:

I have purple hair.

I play my music too loudly. And I like to set my amp distortion very high.

Old people don't understand sarcasm.

I'm a socialist.

I consider paper clips and safety pins to be perfectly acceptable earrings.

I say 'stick it to the man' too often.

I don't hide the fact that I'm not a fan of religion.

I'm not a proper American.

I look like a right little punk child.

I'm not impressed by money. I'm impressed only by wit and talent.

I don't care when people don't like me. I'm usually just amused by it.

I state things bluntly. Sometimes too bluntly.

I'm clever. And this doesn't fit in with their categorization of me based on every other facet of my persona.

I am continually surprising.

Why you like me:

See the aforementioned elements.

Numbers

2010-12-08T16:56:00.003-05:00

This week on Facebook, a lot of people have been posting numbered messages - the numbers only known to the people to whom they apply.

I've got my own list of numbered messages. But you'll have to figure out which one is yours.

1. You are my favorite. I am so excited to see you. Seriously, it still blows my mind how weird it is not to see you every Friday and Saturday night. But we'll make up for that lost time over winter break, no worries :) You'll have difficulty getting rid of me again. I'm planning on driving to your house, waltzing in, and calling you, saying "I'm in your house" like I did... when was that? Forever ago, it seems. But I'll be doing that again. :D

2. Is it strange that I feel we've gotten a lot closer over these past few months? We live hundreds of miles away from each other now, but I feel like I know you a lot better now even though I don't see you every day anymore. And I've grown to appreciate you much more over this time as well. I never told you that I loved you beforehand, but now I tell you all the time. Because you need to know that I appreciate you and that I worry about you sometimes. I look forward to seeing you later this month :) Maybe I'll hide under your car and scare the shit out of you. I still need to get you back for that.

3. We haven't spoken enough these past few months. This should be remedied. I really enjoyed the few times we have spoken and it's made me realize how important you are. It's weird that I never seem to fully appreciate people's importance until they're far away or I'm close to losing them. Bit unfortunate, really. But I'll be needing to hear your stories and to be glomped by you and your ridiculously upbeat nature, twinsie. :]

4. I feel like you never take my advice to just chill for a bit and not stress out so much about your grades. Because you're a clever person and could do with a bit of mental relaxation every once in a while. It won't kill you, I promise. :) But I miss you! Let's build a snow fort over break like we did 4 years ago. That was so much fun.

5. I'm glad that you think I'm right about things. It means a lot that you trust my judgement about you. Because you're important. Yes, you're an asshole, but hell, I'm not the kindest specimen either. But it works out - I mean, we keep each other ceaselessly amused, don't we? :) In other news, I resent that you moved the Barracuda from Sub-Zero to Cool. Not cool, man. I'll move the Lancia in retaliation when you're not looking :P

6. You are probably the most amusing person I know. I look forward to whatever ridiculous story or rant you have every day and just seeing you rage about hilariously insignificant things. Laughing at your constant fails is kind of great, too. There's still glitter on my skirt from when you sprayed glitter all over me on Friday night. Jerk.

7. I enjoy your crazy ghetto-ness. It's pretty wonderful. A nice stark contrast to how fucking white the rest of us are. I mean, hell, even the Asian is white. Oh, I guess I just enjoy you in general as well. I'm glad you're the first friend I made here. Good decision, that.

8. I wonder what goes on in your head. Because you're so quiet and then you come up with these wonderfully amusing ideas and comments that just kill us all. Please share more of these with us, yeah? :)

9. You are stark raving mad. I don't actually understand how you function, seeing as how you spend all your time scheming up ways to con people out of their money at anime cons. Please don't actually fail out of school. We'd miss you. Although we'd probably get more sleep :P

10. I enjoy how you randomly message me sometimes and we just talk about football or music or snow. It's nice. I enjoy having you as a friend, even though I've never even met you. It's very odd. You should get your skypes properly set up so we can have hilariously awkward video chats. :D

11. We haven't spoken in a while, but I hope we can soon. You were my first proper internet friend, you know. I still remember the first time we skyped and we were comparing all the dragon-related things in our rooms ^__^ Good times. Hopefully I'll get to see you this summer if all goes well!

12. This is for 3 people. 2 of you I met at nerd camp and I can honestly say that you guys are some of my favorite people in the world, even though I've spent a total of no more than a month actually in your presence. You lot are wonderful and I love how fucking hilarious everything is when we're together. And to the 3rd one: I love how after knowing each other for about an hour, we were already ridiculously chummy. Hell, I spent less than a week with you, but I still miss you and look forward to seeing you at a con in the spring :D

13. Why aren't we roomies now? Seriously, that would be wicked. We'd just geek out about Doctor Who and related matters all the time and have a grand time of it.

Avoiding Work

2010-12-05T19:10:00.002-05:00

Right now, I want nothing more than to cuddle up in a warm bed and go to sleep. Or read a book. Or watch a film. I don't really care. I just don't want to keep working like I have all day. It's gotten a bit old, especially since my code STILL isn't working, which is infuriating, since I can't find any bugs. Gah. I should really get back to that. But I am sorely tempted to just quit for today and go read The Hunger Games. Or to go distract someone else from completing work.

This is fascinating, isn't it?

Yeah, sorry. I just needed to procrastinate for a bit.

Conclusion reached after this: I'm going to finish The Hunger Games, then go back to my CS work, and then see if people are free. Good plan. Excellent. Right then, off to it.

Snow

2010-12-02T19:19:00.002-05:00

Yesterday it properly snowed for the first time. Now everything is covered in white :) It's amazing how a bit of precipitation can turn me into a child. I'm so stoked about this. Man, I want to go sledding. And have a snowball fight with forts and everything. And build snow creatures - just normal snowmen are laaaaammme. Snow angels are always good, too. And skiing! I haven't been skiing in ages. Yes, I must accomplish all of these things.... after finals. Bah.

Reasons winter is the best season:

- snow

Need I say more?

The Fool on the Hill

2010-11-29T21:57:00.002-05:00

Perhaps I am the fool on the hill. But at least the fool on the hill has a massive grin on his face, eh? He is content with life. And so am I.

Winter and Other Stories

2010-11-28T15:27:00.002-05:00

I'm seriously glad that nerd camp taught me the skill of beginning an essay - just write something. This is that something. Maybe after I'm done with this I'll be suitably motivated to write the essay I've been staring blankly at for the past two hours. Brilliant.

Right then, let's come up with something interesting to write here, shall we? Excellent plan.

In less than three weeks I will be back in the middle of nowhere. I'll have my Michelle, my dogs, snow, and the rest of my old friends. That'll be nice. But so goddamn weird. I can't wrap my mind around how exceedingly strange it will be to be back in my parents' house. In short, it will be very odd. But eating organic food will be the best ever. Definitely looking forward to that. I am going to spend far too much time at Harvest Moon. omg yes. AHHHH. And the Doctor Who Christmas special will air as well! So excited. Doctor Who withdrawal isn't nice. It needs to be remedied asap.

Before that, though, I have one more week of classes and then two weeks of finals. But I only have an actual final exam in astronomy - the rest of my classes have final projects. So the next few weeks will be spent frantically finishing those and studying astro. Good times will be had, clearly.

And it needs to properly snow here before I leave for break. I will simply not be contented until I can sled down the hill leading to west campus. I need my snow, man. Cold without snow is no fun at all. And cold with rain is just utter misery that I am so not cool with. At all.

....

I saw an article the other day that Reykjavík is the best city on earth to spend Christmas. I need to do that sometime. I've never had a Christmas there - the kind of traditional holiday with extended family and whatnot. I think that would be really nice, to spend a bit of my break one year with my grandparents and cousins. Next year, perhaps.

....

Well, this is a suitably disjointed post. Well done. Excellent. People are finally starting to trickle back to campus, so it's not as empty and eerie as it's been these past few days. And the building smells like gingerbread. Someone's baking. ^__^ The roomies and I need to hang our obnoxious snowflake lights in our window soon.

And I need to start my essay sooner.

Simplified Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T10:23:00.002-05:00

Thanks to all of you who make me laugh.

Yeah, that's it.

Creeping & OMG Harry Potter

2010-11-16T22:59:00.002-05:00

I'm writing this almost entirely so that you lot have something to creep on :P

ENJOY <3

Speaking of creeping, Kaylinn and Michelle, you guys have reached some impressive levels on the Facebooks.

And Chris, Rose, and Mihailo, thanks for creeping on the YouTubes. And pointing out the random Scottish, English, and Australian influences on my accent. Greattt.

And hello to you, Avery, I know you're just going through your scheduled creeping for the day :)

Right then. So. Interesting things.

AAAAAHHH OMG DEATHLY HALLOWS IN TWO DAYS AND 50 MINUTES.

.... I might be mildly excited about that. Just a tad.

My Ravenclaw attire is currently hanging on the back of my door and the tickets and my wand are sitting on top of my printer. SO READY. Going to class on Thursday in my robes will be wicked fun. I shall enjoy it thoroughly. Even if it rains. And you know how I feel about rain. Yeah, we're not friends.

The Master Plan:

go to class wearing robes
do homework
pile 7 people in Mihailo's car
get to movie theatre
die of joy
not sleep
go to class on Friday in a zombie-like but probably quite ecstatic state

I am so content with this plan. Fuck yes.

^___________^

I'm so excited, I can hardly write coherently. And I certainly can't concentrate on astronomy. I don't even technically take that test tomorrow, and yet I'm still studying for it. What am I doing with my life? No idea.

True Story

2010-11-14T13:53:00.001-05:00

Winter Break

2010-11-10T23:02:00.004-05:00

I just finished Skyping with Anni-la and updating her on my life :)

At some point in our conversation, the topic of winter break came up and how thoroughly odd it was going to be.

And I mentioned how I was afraid that winter break would bring back the mindset that I was in only a few months ago.

I can't let that happen. I've come so far since June and I can't go back to that misery that used to eat away at me.

I know that coming back to university will remedy any regression instantly, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't want it to happen at all. I like being happy, dammit.

So I'm thinking of ways to prevent falling back into unhappiness for those four weeks. This is what I've got:

- play a lot of guitar and visit Drew

- spend time at the barn and make up for these months of not riding

- paint. lots.

- go to pottery just like old times :)

- keep myself in the company of those I love - that'd be you, Michelle, Kaylinn, Annika & Joe

- Skype the friends and the boyfriend frequently

- avoid conflict with the rents or the brothers

- Doctor Who

I think this should keep me pretty much okay. The worst part was always school and being around so many people I detested, but that won't be an issue now, so that simplifies matters greatly. But there's always the worry that living in my parents' house with their rules and expectations will oppress me into unhappiness again.

But I'm going to do my utmost not to let it.

Reading over this, I realize that I sound a lot more emotionally unstable than I actually feel.

So let me clarify some things.

1. I am happy. SO happy. Happier than I've ever been. This isn't going to change as long as I'm here.

2. I'm not going to suddenly become massively depressed when I go home. But I'm worried about being unhappy for even the shortest period of time.

3. The things that make me happy now - the freedom, the people, the things I'm learning - will continue to do so.

Does that help? I dunno. I just felt like I needed to express my slight worry, but I'm not sure if it really came out the way I wanted. I'm ever so good at articulating things, as always :P

Let's end this on a more positive note, shall we? Don't want this to just be an emo blog post. God knows there are enough of those without my contribution.

Things that are lovely:

- Skype conversations

- my immune system, hehe

- getting ahead on homework that's not due until next week and not doing homework that's due in 2 days :P

- webcomics

- sarcasm

- laughing at ridiculous people

Procrastination Technique #78

2010-11-08T16:17:00.005-05:00

Right now, I should be coding the PHP for my CS assignment that's due tomorrow. But I don't want to. So I'm just going to start writing and see what happens. Maybe by the end of this ramble I'll be motivated/guilty enough to try to figure out what the hell is wrong with my code. Good plan.

Things that have occurred recently:

Halloween

My favorite holiday, obviously. The friend group and I were going to go as the Scooby Doo lot (with me as Shaggy xD), but that kind of didn't happen. So I went as a 70s punk (different only from my usual attire in that I had a sort-of fauxhawk) and Chris and Rose went as Team Rocket from Pokemon. Mihailo was ill, but he informed me this weekend that he had been planning on being me for Halloween ("I was going to put a purple streak in my hair, and have the suspenders and carry around a cutout of Voldemort" - the Voldemort bit is a reference to what Roselle has taken to calling Avery). Bahaha I love my friends.

So Chris, Rose, and I went to the anime club screening, as we do every Saturday night. Good fun. Afterwards we decided to go to Smash club with Rose, which wasn't really happening, apparently, since there were only five people there. So we just kind of chilled and took pictures of each other's costumes with Rose's schmancy camera. Rose got this rather epic shot of me:

Good times.

Then the night of actual Halloween, we watched Sweeney Todd and Edward Scissorhands in Chris's room <3

Illness

So much fucking illness. EVERYONE I KNOW IS ILL. It's horrid. I'm only mildly ill, nothing terrible, but Kelly's had bronchitis and Chris probably does, too. Come to think of it, Rose very likely does, as well. And Avery's getting a fracking chest x-ray right now and EVERYONE IS DYING. So not cool with this. The plague needs to end.

Music

While not doing my CS assignment yesterday, I decided to learn some Frank Turner songs, since all I've listened to for the past week has been Frank Turner. So I spent a good while learning "The Road" which has been wonderfully playing through my head for ages. Content.

Thanksgiving plans

Not going to NYC or Virginia, unfortunately, so I'll just be chilling here with Rose while everyone else goes home. So it'll be like Fall Break Creeping Part Two, but with Rose instead of Chris. I'm pretty cool with any excuse to just lurk around campus taking pictures and eating real-person-food. Although real-person-food involves real-person-money, a concept which I no longer really understand. What do you mean, I can't just swipe my student ID and magically get food? Nonsense.

Also, I will be spending break doing only five things other than lurking:

1. Painting.

2. Playing guitar

3. Catching up on 3 months worth of YouTube subscriptions O.o

4. Researching the use of internet slang in verbal speech for linguistics

5. Coding the CSS for my CS final project.

It will be EXCELLENT.

That is all I have to say for now, comrades. Skype me or something, yeah? I'll have plenty of time over break :)

I Say the Oddest Things

2010-11-03T21:37:00.000-04:00

Quote of the day:

"My personality isn't 'cynical bitch' anymore, so I'm having to come up with a new one. So far I've got "crazy fucker" which is an improvement, right? :P"

To All My Favorites

2010-10-27T19:45:00.002-04:00

It is a constant concern of mine that I take people for granted, that I don't tell them enough how much they mean to me. Because I'm awkward and bad at articulating such things.

So, to all my favorite people (even those who maybe don't know they're my favorites):

Just so you know, you mean a lot to me. You make me laugh, and that's more important than anything. <3

In Retrospect

2010-10-24T22:02:00.002-04:00

Today, it occurred to me that I didn't remember on what I'd written my college entrance essay. I vaguely recalled it being a bit of a bitter rant. But I couldn't really remember it, which was odd. It's a contributing factor to my presence here, I'm sure. So I found the document on my backup drive and read through what I wrote 14 months ago. And holy shit. I've been aware that I've changed since graduating high school, but Jesus Christ, it really hit me when I read that essay. My bitterness and unhappiness were absolutely tangible. I can barely remember what that even felt like. It's like it wasn't even my life, that constant cycle of apathy and despair. I'd forgotten how much I used to hate my life, how I only got through the week by looking forward to Mondays at 4:30 (guitar lesson), Thursdays at 3:30 (pottery), Fridays at 3 (riding), and Friday and Saturday nights (Michelle & Doctor Who). The change in my life now seems even more drastic. Its severity is fricking ridiculous, really.

That essay talked about how I hated how I was viewed by others, based on nationality. That's what the essay said, but it implied a lot more. What I really hated was the judgement, the inability to do whatever the fuck I wanted without getting weird looks. The oppression was what really got me. And it wasn't just social oppression, either. No, there was plenty of intellectual oppression as well. That stuff was rampant. It was if my mind were literally imprisoned. It was horrible.

And the funny thing is, I feel absolutely none of this anymore. I guess coming here allowed me to start over, shielding me from the inaccurate preconceptions that angered me so. And my mind is free to do whatever it wants. Any study, as we say here. So I do what I like and learn what I wish. I guess what I really needed all along was a bit of freedom. Freedom to live my life without wanting to shout, "Help help! I'm being repressed!" on a daily basis. I think that must be it. It's not just that I'm around clever, strange, wonderful people (although that is highly important, I love them all so), it's that I'm in a place without all of these metaphorical walls (although there are plenty of literal fences, ha).

I didn't even think of this until just now. I'm formulating this hypothesis as I type it, so apologies for the lack of eloquence. But I guess to state it concisely, all I ever needed was to be liberated.

Roles

2010-10-23T13:56:00.003-04:00

Since I've been here, I've noticed that I've taken on a few roles that I never thought I'd have. They're odd and in some cases contradictory.

As Chris pointed out this morning, "The girl with the purple hair and punk clothes is actually the peacekeeper." I hate conflict. More than anything. I do my utmost to avoid it, mostly because I can't be bothered putting that much energy into arguing with people. This apparently makes me "the nice one" of the friend group. Fucking weird. I'm so used to being the sarcastic bitch. I mean, the sarcasm's still here, but I guess in comparison to my other friends, I'm not that much of an asshole xD

Music Is Lovely

2010-10-03T21:45:00.001-04:00

May I make a suggestion? Go listen to this. (One and the Same - Muscovy)

That is all.

Linkage

2010-10-01T01:13:00.004-04:00

I've decided to put certain posts for certain people on WordPress.

I'm still going to mainly post here, but sometimes I need to express things for a smaller audience. An audience of about 3 or 4 people. You lot know who you are.

Whenever there's one of these restricted posts, I'll inform you of so here, but only a few of you will be able to see it. This way you won't have to keep track of two different accounts, which simplifies things a bit. :)

So here is the first such notification! I've written something over there.

University Life

2010-09-16T17:10:00.003-04:00

I'm planning on making a video this week about how awesome everything is. I love this place, I love these people, I love my classes, for Christ's sake. It's bloody ridiculous.

It makes me sad that some of my friends from high school are not as happy as I am. Especially since I was always the unhappy one.

I don't actually have much to say, except that I miss very few things. These few things are:

Jack & Basco
Pottery class/people
3 people in particular: Michelle, Joe & Kaylinn. It's weird how I didn't realize how weird it would be not having you here and being able to see you all the time.... and now I don't. It's a little confusing.
I miss other people, too, but slightly less. Sorry. You really shouldn't be offended. I'm blunt about these things. (I can just see my friend count decaying exponentially as I type this. Meh.)

Yeah. That's it, I think. Video later this week, etc.

EDIT: I miss guitar lessons, too. Like no other. :[

How I Make Friends

2010-09-07T23:25:00.005-04:00

Chris:

Sees me from afar. Finds me on Facebook. Messages me: Not meaning to be a creep, but I think that the fact that your hair is partially purple is awesome. I reply: hahaha excellent. LET'S BE FRIENDS.

And now we're friends.

Roselle:

Heidi: Let's go sit with those people.

Roselle is amongst those people. I keep randomly running into her. Therefore, friendship was inevitable.

Asian John:

Sees guitar pick around my neck. We talk about guitars. Friends.

British John:

Sees my Doctor Who shirt. Fellow vegetarian. Actually managed to remember my name even though he's terrible with names. We should be friends if I stumble upon him again.

Kelly:

I look around for someone to sit with at lunch. I see her sitting alone. I go sit with her.

We talk of nerdy things. We are fellow Nerdfighters. Instant friendship.

Mihailo:

Chris makes me ask him to sit with us at Anime Club. I do so with utmost tact, as usual.

I see him sitting alone at lunch. Chris makes me ask him to sit with us.

Now we're friends.

Avery:

I'm buying stamps. He asks me what the hell I'm doing. I say that I need stamps to send people things since sending objects via telekinesis hasn't been working well for me lately. He says that's odd, since it's working fine for him.

(I need to find this kid again)

Neil:

I'm walking to lunch. He turns around and says he's seen me multiple times that day. I apologize for accidentally stalking him. We start a conversation. We eat lunch. Friends.

Rose:

Sat awkwardly at the same table as us. Chris oh-so-subtely included her in the conversation. Turns out she's mega-awesome.

Brian 1:

Chris and I are sitting on the green with my guitar. Brian sits down with us. Requests songs. Borrows the guitar for a bit. Leaves as suddenly as he came. Chris is convinced that we hallucinated him and that he doesn't actually exist.

Brian 2:

Ice-skating engineer boy. Kelly forced him to leave his room and watch Firefly with Chris, Rose, Mihailo, herself and me. He probably thinks we're insane.

Tom:

You speak German? You like the Ramones? Yes.

The Anime Club:

"You have purple hair. Are you into anime, by any chance?" Joined.

Birthday Funtimes

2010-09-07T22:40:00.003-04:00

On Sunday I turned 18. It was great. It might actually have been my best birthday, to be completely honest. Mine are usually uneventful. My friends here prevented that from happening.

My birthday started at midnight. I was at Nasties eating calzones with Chris, Kelly, Mihailo, (explanations of the latter 2 in a moment) and his brother. They sang. The rest of the place sang. Drunken strangers wished me happy birthday. I then went to my dorm to sleep.

I woke up at 10 am, re-dyed the purple bit, got a bit of work done, realized that I hadn't eaten, and therefore went for brunch at the RPCC dining hall. Brunch is good. I thoroughly approve of it. At 2 I met Kelly (a recently befriended fellow Nerdfighter) at the Quidditch Club meeting, where we enjoyed ourselves immensely by being generally nerdy and trying to come up with cool team names (I'm personally fond of the something-beginning-with-an-H-that-I-have-yet-to-discover Hinkypunks. Hinkypunks are wicked cool/terrifying. Kelly want us to be the something-Redcaps because then she could crochet the team red caps. Epic.)

After the meeting, we met Chris and Mihailo (whom I met at Anime Club - he was sitting by himself and the following dialogue occurred: Chris - "that kid with the weird name is sitting by himself. Invite him to sit with us." Me - "dude. You're the one who's good at talking to people." Chris - "yeah, but you're a girl, so it's less weird." Me - "what? No." Chris - "come on! Use your feminine wiles! .... Ok, I probably have more of those than you." Me - "precisely. But fine." Me to Mihailo - "would you like to sit with us so you won't look like a social leper?" Mihailo - "um, sure." Chris - "wow. That was tactful." -- It's a miracle I have friends, really.) at the bus station.

We then took the bus (we managed to get on the right one, for once) to town and ambled about Urban Outfitters (where I got a hat and striped suspenders. Yes.) and some random hippie shops. We also went to the used book/record shop, which is my favorite place ever. I bought Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols and then I found a used Ramones Anthology CD for $12 and was pretty damn overjoyed. We then had dinner at a delectable Thai place and I was pretty damn content with life. Then we went to see The Girl Who Played with Fire, which was excellent, although neither Chris nor Kelly had read any of the books and could therefore not appreciate it fully. After the movie, we went outside and took badass pictures against the brick wall (since both Kelly and I were wearing leather jackets), kind of like this, but fewer Ramones, more college kids.

As we got back to the bus stop downtown, we realized that it was 11:30 pm on a Sunday night and there were no busses running. So we walked the 34 minutes back to campus. Yes. 34. Mihailo timed it. Luckily it was nice and cool outside, so I didn't die. Chris, being from Florida, almost did until the exertion from climbing that many goddam hills warmed him up. Once we got back to campus, we met Roselle at Nasties and ate cake. Roselle gave me a balloon with Disney princesses and Chris gave me a card that said "Happy 90th birthday". Win. I love these people.

I then went back to my dorm to find a dance party in the common room. I was forced to join. People shouted "happy birthday" at me and I was awkward. But it was fun :) Over 24 hours of fun. I fell asleep around 3 am to the pulsating bass of dance music.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that at the Thai restaurant, we came in at the same time as another group of people, but there was only one table. I won the table in an epic game of rock-paper-scissors (always go for scissors, people).

Failed Adventures & Other Stories

2010-08-24T13:11:00.002-04:00

Good news! I have friends now! We went on an epic fail adventure last night, which I shall relate to you all.

I spent most of the day doing orientation-related things. Wheeyyy. Then, for dinner, my orientation group met with another group and went to collegetown to eat. Some wanted burgers, but I'm a vegetarian and so was a British guy named John, so half the group went to get Italian food instead. I ordered a medium pizza because I was starving and figured it would be medium-sized. No. It was the size of a Domino's large pizza. Needless to say, I failed to consume it all and probably made Chris's day by walking back to campus and handing him a 3/4 full box of pizza.

Later that night, we were forced to watch a boring film and listen to a painfully mundane speech. That sucked. Then it started raining. Right as there was supposed to be some huge event in the stadium. This huge event of supposed fun became miserable. Rain makes most things miserable. Chris, Roselle, and I, however, conquered both the rain and the massive amount of people there to get free T-shirts. That was our one accomplishment of the night. Free shirts. It went downhill from there.

Chris wanted to go to collegetown and go to a party just to say that he had. Roselle and I had no problem with mocking drunk people, so the 3 of us walked the ridiculous distance to collegetown, searching for loud music and drunk people. Chris's orientation leader had told him about a specific party that was letting in freshmen, so we spent a good 45 minutes wandering about trying to find it and trying not to look like lost freshmen. We failed in both respects. We got the the specified address, but there wasn't anything there... and just then Chris got a text informing him that all the parties were, in fact, on the other side of campus. *facepalm*

So then we WALKED BACK with some rather intoxicated friends of Roselle's. As soon as we got to the "party dorm" and up to their floor, one of them uttered these words: "I think all the parties are in Collegetown." By then, all we could do was laugh at how epicly we failed at something so seemingly simple as finding a party. Fail nights ftw.

Also, dorm stories:

1. The reason the architecture of this building makes no sense is because it was built to be an anti-riot building. Hahahahahhahaha. This would happen to me.

2. There is a chipmunk loose in the building. I saw it in our hallway yesterday.

3. Apparently there's a bat lurking around here somewhere, too. I think we're the only dorm with wild animals skulking about in the corridors.

Moved In, Etc

2010-08-22T00:26:00.003-04:00

I feel obliged to post some sort of update, since some of my friends are currently writing about their college experiences. But I only moved in yesterday, and I don't know if I really have any friends yet. I have a bunch of people I talk to, but I dunno if we'll actually become legit friends. I hope so. I also hope I find the girl with the blue hair and SOMEONE with a mohawk. Because we need to be friends. I don't want to be the only person doing weird shit to my hair here. Where are the punks? I need to find them. I'll notify you when I do.

Over and Out

2010-08-16T01:18:00.002-04:00

I am aware of the fact that I'm leaving this place on Tuesday morning (HOLY FUCK THAT'S TOMORROW). But it's such an odd concept. I will pack up my belongings into the car and then unpack them on the other side of the country. My life will be so different. Different in the best way, though, I'm by no means dreading it. In fact, I want to get out so badly. I want to just apparate to my dorm room, settle in and let not only a new chapter, but an entirely different volume of my life commence. I will be hundreds, and in some cases, thousands, of miles away from my friends, the people whom I've known for years. No one will get the inside jokes that seemed so ubiquitous. I'll have to start over. And there will be so many wonderful people to choose from. I am so stoked.

Really, my only worry is the actual process of getting there and fitting everything into my room. Because I honestly haven't the least idea of the size or layout of my room. Hopefully it won't get a nasty surprise when I show up there. I'm not too worried about roommates or making friends - I usually get along with all sorts of people with ease, so I really should be fine. Not to mention, we'll all be in the same boat: none of us will have friends xD

Also, hopefully there won't be too much separation anxiety on the part of Ronnikins :) Christmas will bring both a Doctor Who episode and hang out times. BE EXCITED.

Lollapalooza

2010-08-10T22:37:00.004-04:00

This weekend, I learned that a 10-hour bus ride can be completely justifiable. When that 10-hour ride ends in Chicago and Lollapalooza, that is.

Thursday:

Met Sonja at the Greyhound station around 9 AM. The bus left at 10:10. The next ten hours were horrendously uneventful and dull, due to the fact that it was ten hours of pretty much the same scenery: corn. Awesome. Gotta love the Midwest.

The bus arrived in Chicago at 7:45 that evening. Took a cab to the hostel. Discovered that the hostel was freaking awesome at that are roomies were pretty cool people. Got DELECTABLE Thai food from a place only a block away. Slept like a rock until 9 the next morning.

Friday:

Got up at 9. Took advantage of the free breakfast (aka: toast and orange juice. Couldn't really complain because it was FREE FOOD.) Sonja and I were then taken on a tour of Chicago by Liz, which was altogether awesome. Then around 2 we entered Grant Park to go see the Big Pink. We staked out our spots at the Adidas Mega stage for nearly an hour, which was most definitely worth it; the show was epic. Then we made our way to see The New Pornographers through Green Street, stopping to get food. Seven dollars for a smoothie. Jesus Christ. The New Pornographers were good, but we were really far back, since we'd gotten there so late. We managed to sneak through the crowd to get closer, though, for the next act at that stage: The Black Keys. Now, they put on a fantastic show. SO good.

That day ended in Pizza Hut and sleep.

Saturday:

8 bands to see on Saturday. Lined up at 10 AM outside the park. We started with camping out to see The Soft Pack, listening to The Kissaway Trail at the adjacent stage while we waited. Both put on simply excellent shows full of excellent music. Then, in order to get good spots for The xx, we sat through a Wild Beasts show, which was actually quite good. Then came The xx. Gah. So amazing. I adore their music to no end (and so did the rest of the crowd, based on their enthusiasm). Then we ran over to see Grizzly Bear. Once again, we were rather far back, but the music was good, so no complaints there :) I then headed over the the other side of the park to get a good spot for Social Distortion. I caught the last bit of the AFI show while on my way there. Not bad! In the crowd for Social Distortion, I was a bit of an anomaly - I was surrounded by old punks. These guys were there for the origination of punk rock, and here I was, this skinny teenage girl. But the fact that I have purple hair and knew most of the songs helped me fit in quite nicely ^^ Then I waited an hour for Green Day. By now my feet were in a lot of pain after standing all day, but there was no way I was giving up a spot that close. I lived through it. And then Green Day came on stage and made all that waiting worth it many times over. An absolutely brilliant show. Live music is the best kind of music, especially when you know every single song and can scream the lyrics along with thousands of other people. That crowd was amazing. Truly amazing. And that show blew my mind.

I can safely call August 7th, 2010, the best day of my life thus far (funny how the 2nd best day of my life involved a Bon Jovi concert xD)

By the time the show was over (15 minutes after it was scheduled to end and after Billie Joe Armstrong had proclaimed, "I'm not fucking done yet!" multiple times along the way) I hadn't eaten in 8 or 9 hours and my feet hated me. A stop at 7-Eleven sorted out the former problem and sleep fixed the latter.

Sunday:

Sunday began with Frank Turner's show at noon in the rain. It was wonderful. A smashing show and so much goddamn awesome music. We later on met him in the autograph tent, where he signed my CD and told me that I had a really cool name (yeah, I fangirled). I then caught the beginning of The Cribs' show, but had to run back to the other side of the park to get a good spot for Mumford and Sons. And words cannot describe how awesome of a show Mumford and Sons put on. It was so freaking amazing. I think they were a little overwhelmed with how excited the crowd was (not to mention the sheer size of it). I then managed to catch a bit of Yeasayer (which was really good) before heading over to see Wolfmother. Now, Wolfmother was awesome. I just adore their style of music - super Led Zeppelin-influenced, lots of retro-sounding guitar distortion. Just epic. Then on my way to get a spot for Arcade Fire, I caught the last few songs of The Temper Trap show, which was excellent. And then I ended the day with Arcade Fire, which I quite thoroughly enjoyed, despite being fallen on my multiple crowd-surfers xD

Monday:

Took the bus home, probably still smelling like pot from all the crowds.

Best weekend ever. That is all.

Photos can be found HERE

^___^

2010-08-03T14:26:00.003-04:00

It kind of just hit me, that since graduating high school, I'm a completely different person. Yeah, it's only been about 2 months, but my perspective on life is drastically different. I haven't suddenly turned into an optimist or anything, but I'm certainly not nearly as bitter and seriously cynical as I was. Not to mention, I'm actually really happy. I am so overjoyed with life. I've enjoyed myself so immensely this summer; I've met, spoken with, and hung out with so many bloody wonderful people. And as an added bonus, I know my happiness won't end when my education begins. Because I'll actually be around people I like and be in a place that I don't detest.

Fuck, life is good.

Theology vs. Mythology

2010-07-24T20:43:00.002-04:00

I've been pondering. Ruminating upon the subjects of theology and mythology.

This is what I've come up with: questions.

It is universally accepted that all mythology was once theology. What we call 'myths' now were once religions that people took as complete truth. But why do we call them myths now? We still have tales of gods, and yet these are accepted as totally legit; they're believed by millions. What makes these people think that their god is any more real than Oðin or Zeus? Why are their ridiculous claims of the supernatural deemed 'religion', while those of ancient civilizations are taught as silly stories of primitive peoples? And why does every religious person in the world believe that his or her religion is the correct one? For example, why do Christians believe in their god unquestioningly, but scoff at the gods of the Hindus? Why do they think that they're right? Where does this completely ridiculous assurance come from?

I DON'T GET IT. Why can't they see that they're all kidding themselves? I feel like we should have evolved past this.

What Air Travel Should Be

2010-07-23T18:12:00.002-04:00

Two days ago, I took a plane (a Fokker 50, to be precise) from Reykjavík north to Akureyri to visit my family in northern Iceland. The plane trip was 40 minutes long and the skies were perfectly clear, allowing me to witness the geography of the entire country on my journey north.

But that's not the exciting part. The best bit occurred in the airport itself.

Firstly, I walked to the airport. I arrived there about half an hour before the plane was scheduled to leave, handed over my e-ticket, and received my boarding pass. Asking for our party of four (me, my dad, his sister, and my brother) to sit in one row was no problem. No passport or ID required.

We had 20 minutes to kill before boarding. Wandering outside to have a smoke break or to look at the planes beyond the fence was totally acceptable. Then we were called to board 10 minutes before the plane was going to leave. Scanning of the tickets commenced and with one look at my dad's credit card we were through. None of this security nonsense. (There were only security screenings for international flights - for them, there was one 3-foot-long conveyor belt, one metal detector, and one cop. That was it. Beautiful.) We then started ambling towards the door, but then one of the traffic control guys opens the side door and says, "You can just come through here, it's shorter. Your plane's the one sitting over there." Fantastic. We then walked over to the plane and up the steps to board it.

Well, that was... chill. It's kind of the greatest thing ever.

American airports, take note: calm down a bit, ok?

Airport Musings

2010-07-14T15:29:00.004-04:00

(Written yesterday evening. I think. Jetlag has made my time perception completely wonky.)

Sometimes I walk around airports and vaguely wonder why old people give me dirty looks. Then I remember that I have purple hair.

Besides the judgmental cretins, airports are fantastic places for people-watching - because sooner or later, every sort of person is going to have to go to an airport. Sitting in this corner, I observe everything from irritated parents with small children to obviously blazed hippies. Fantastic.

But amongst all these different sorts of people are a shared set of rules*. Social norms and the like.

Rule number one: don’t sit next to other people unless absolutely necessary. I was highly amused when a woman broke this rule and sat down right next to me. It’s one of those inexplicably awkward moments. Oh society, the silly barriers you create.

Rule number two: keep your goddamned children in check. Okay, this isn’t a rule, but I really do wish it were. The airport is not a playground! Leave me alone! ... Have I ever mentioned that I’m not a fan of children? Yeah, well, I kind of hate them.

Rule number three: don’t talk to people with whom you are not traveling. This isn’t a social event, guys. If you have taken it upon yourself to travel alone, you shall remain alone and without frivolous social contact.

Rule number four: Look annoyed. None of us want to be here. Airports blow. Don’t you dare make it look like you aren’t bored out of your skull. Such lies are simply intolerable.

*unofficial rules, mind you.

Yay! I’ve successfully managed to fill up fifteen minutes writing this. Boredom crisis averted! Victory declared, etc, etc.

... So can I board the plane now? No? Fuck you guys, I’m bored again.

Summertime Thus Far

2010-07-12T19:54:00.006-04:00

So.... I suck at updating. Hardcore.

So here we have an obligatory THIS IS WHAT I'VE DONE SO FAR THIS SUMMER post. What fun.

Firstly, Rock The Garden in Minneapolis. That was pretty wicked, I must say. Retribution Gospel Choir, OK Go, Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings, and MGMT all played. OK Go and MGMT put on the best performances. They were fairly awesome. Anyways, pictures will sum this up better than my rambling nonsense.

Check out that sea of lighters :D

^__^

These guys had the best vantage point.

*Brief interlude involving lots of grad parties*

Then, for the first week of July I stayed with Margaret in LA. I rediscovered why I love her and Alice so goddamn much when they picked me up at Union Station - they're brilliant, hilarious, and fantastically odd <3

The next day, Laurel and I became the best of friends within mere hours of meeting. Wonderful. We then spent the next 4 days at AX. Awesome. So awesome. The picture above is of my cosplay of Tom from Khaos :D

One night, Margaret and Laurel made me watch Spirited Away. They then proceeded to completely ruin the film for me by making snide and obscene comments the entire time. Personally, I enjoyed myself immensely. We watched Howl's Moving Castle another day and that movie is brilliant. We've decided that I should cosplay Howl for Fanime next year. It'll be wicked.

And then leaving California sucked. I got to return home to continue the arduous process of moving out.

And, finally, two nights ago I introduced Carolyn to both Holy Grail and Doctor Horrible. (I also spent that day rereading Khaos because I'm addicted to that comic. It's kinda sad.)

That's pretty much all that's occurred so far. Tomorrow night I leave for Iceland and will be there until the 29th. I might update this blog during this time. But only if something interesting happens.

A Thoroughly Unpleasant Experience

2010-06-16T16:18:00.002-04:00

This morning, I got 3 of my 4 wisdom teeth removed. I have had better days.

8 AM: Wake up. No food and no water even though I'm parched.
9 AM: Arrive at the surgery.
9:30 AM: Stick an IV in my arm, put a breathing mask over my face. Whatever is in there smells, and therefore tastes, sickly sweet.
I don't remember falling asleep. Or waking up. Just being helped into a wheelchair and back out of it into a bed. Time is completely hazy. At some point they wake me up again an wheel me to the car. I feel decidedly dizzy and somewhat ill. The only thing that makes me feel better is listening to Jeremy Messersmith, turning up the AC, and using the car window as a pillow.
11 AM: I get home, stumble upstairs, take my antibiotics and ibuprofen, drink water, eat yogurt, and drown out my noisy brothers with my 'instrumental' playlist. I go to bed.
2 PM: I get out of bed. Check the internets. Discover my housing assignment for university. Send my roommate a message and hope that we'll get along.
2:30 PM: The anesthetic has dulled and the pain is starting to seep in. Ice packs plz.
3:00 PM: Catch up on YouTube subscriptions.
3:25 PM: Netflix Instant, let's be friends. Also, I need to find some chocolate pudding.

By tonight, I'm sure Vicodin will be my only wish.

Summer Plans

2010-05-26T21:32:00.004-04:00

Lots of grad parties. Ridiculously many, to be honest.

Rock the Garden: See MGMT, OK Go, Retribution Gospel Choir, and Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings.

LA: Visit Margaret & Alice, go to AX (probably cosplaying Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji ^^).

Iceland: Visit the grandparents, make some arty videos, read books, explore Reykjavik, enjoy the mild climate.

Lollapalooza: Awesome bands^∞

Moving out: This place --> university. A definite improvement.

Update, Update, Update.

2010-05-12T19:44:00.003-04:00

I haven't written anything in ages. I'VE BEEN BUSY, OKAY? No, seriously. APs. But luckily I had my last AP test today (which I ended with the words "I would like to take a moment to apologize profusely for the somewhat illegible nature of my handwriting. I'm sorry you had to read 7 pages of it" xD). I am now one step closer to freedom :)

Right, this is going to be the Thora version of Software Update - you get a list of things, and they update xD Yaaayyy Mac jokes! So, let the updating commence!

Turns out the the whole UK Adventure thing won't be happening until next year, so no Summer in the City for now, which is rather saddening because there are quite a few UK people I'm getting to know and really want to meet. ASAP. :/ BUT I am now officially going to Lollapalooza with at least Sonja and hopefully Michelle as well. I printed off my ticket 2 days ago. It's beautiful. Figuratively speaking. I even screenshot-ed the lineup and put boxes around the bands I want to see.

And to top it all off, I'm going to Rock the Garden in June as well ^___^ I get to see MGMT twice this summer. Epic win.

Relating to music festivals, let's talk about music. Recently I've been getting really into a lot of retro punk rock like the Clash, Stiff Little Fingers, the Ramones, Crass, the Sex Pistols, etc (along with the more contemporary Green Day as well). I've been into the Clash for a good while now (thanks to some random dude on Omegle who linked me to 'Rock the Casbah' while I sent him links to Rammstein songs ^^). Drew got me into Stiff Little Fingers (with whom I'm completely obsessed now) and some stuff like Volbeat and Cobra Skulls. Basically, punk rock is awesome. Not only does it sound fantastic, but it's ridiculously easy to play. Power chords ftw! :D

Let's see, what else? The current series of Doctor Who is lovely. 11 and Amy are wonderful (though they are no 10 and Donna, who will always be my favorites). Michelle and I have developed an entire weekend schedule around Doctor Who episodes, too, which is quite nice. Friday and Saturday nights at Michelle's house. Fridays for food and lulz, Saturdays for Doctor Who and re-watching of Torchwood or Jane Austen movies and picking out aspects that would make funny drinking games xD Good times. (Side note: Michelle, wtf am I going to do with my Friday and Saturday nights after August? I can't afford to fly to your house every week. Not cool. We should have Skype parties in which we watch Doctor Who and bake things. Or something.)

Shit. I think the sky just exploded. One of those thunderclaps that shake space and time. Legit.

Awesome.

Okay, I'm out of things to update on. More later, yes?

Extraordinary Feeling

2010-04-10T22:20:00.005-04:00

Wednesday night I went to my first legit rock concert.

Best night of my life so far. It was that brilliant.

I went with Carolyn to see Bon Jovi. Before this concert, I'd liked Bon Jovi well enough. Now I absolutely adore them. My mind was blown. My voice sounded like a chain smoker's from all that screaming. My hearing was significantly dulled. As Sam put it, basically all the circuitry in my head was screwed up.

So worth it.

Let me briefly list what was so extraordinary about this concert. My words will do it no justice, but I'll try regardless.

- Bon Jovi really knows how to make an entrance. The suspense in the crowd was positively tangible as the screens animated the Circle Tour logo and silhouettes of the band members. Then the screen lifted, and the real band members emerged. We screamed, clapped, cheered, leapt from our seats. It was fantastic.

- The music was awesome. But that's fairly obvious.

- Bon Jovi puts on a damn good show. The lighting was spectacular, the musicians were clearly having a blast. And the audience was going mad.

- During songs like "You Give Love a Bad Name", "Bad Medicine" and "It's My Life" - songs that everyone knew the lyrics to - were just amazing. Being able to just shout along with a stadium full of people is the best feeling ever. And when they ended with "Livin' On A Prayer" - man, that was amazing. My voice was nearly gone by this point, and I'm sure everyone else's were too. But we fricking shouted our souls out anyways. Absolutely fantastic.

I'm going to as many concerts as possible in my life. Music is infinitely better live. Really nothing can compare to it.

People Who Tolerate My Presence

2010-04-06T22:11:00.004-04:00

When I think of most of my friends, I kind of wonder, "How are we even friends?" And then I remember, you don't choose your friends.

I feel that most of my current friendships have begun in one of the following ways

- I made a sarcastic comment and they were amused instead of insulted

- I geeked out over something & they joined me (or vice versa)

- There was literally no one else to sit with at lunch

- Forced close proximity (such as working together or sitting next to each other in class or living together for weeks)

- Weird people gravitate towards me. No, really. "Normal" people avoid me like the plague.

And thinking about this, I also kind of realized that I can get along with most people (given that you're not a total bitch/douchebag). I've discovered this when I've been stuck with people I kind of know or don't know at all and they strike up conversation (since I'm definitely not capable of starting conversations) and... I dunno, it just works out - even though I'm quite acerbic and nerdy, people surprisingly don't seem to mind.

And then that train of thought led me to a tangent that seems kind of unrelated but makes sense in my head, so I'm putting it here.

When I was a kid (elementary school age) I was ridiculously shy - I was still weird and made friends and stuff, but I was really shy. Probably due to the fact that my English wasn't initially very good and I got my languages mixed up sometimes. Kind of awkward when you get really excited about something and start rattling off about it, only to realized that you're speaking the wrong language. So I kind of just didn't talk much. (HEY. Kind of like now. Weird.)

But anyways, because I was so shy, I wasn't very assertive, so I just did whatever my friends wanted and didn't try to get my way.

And then you look at me now. Yeah. Different. "She doesn't take shit from anybody," as one of my friends put it xD Well, it works out for me, even if some people think I'm a bitter, sardonic jerk. Definitely preferable to being a pushover.

Promising Prospects

2010-04-04T23:56:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, my dad handed me a large envelope that had come in the mail for me from my university. It was a bunch of forms regarding housing and meal plans that I had to fill out. And while filling them out and browsing the list of buildings where I could be living next year, it kind of hit me - I'll actually be living there as of August 20th. I've been aware that this is the school I'm attending since mid November, but it's now fully struck me that next year, I won't be working and sleeping in this room, driving the 6 minutes to school, seeing the same people, or living the same life.

This is the most exciting thing ever. My schedule is mundane at best, miserable at worst. I can't wait to get out of here, to be someplace new with new people and new possibilities.

Words really can't encompass how ecstatic I am about this ^____^

Also, I spent today looking up hostel prices and train schedules, sorting out when I'm going to be where. Britain is going to be soooo fantastic. Hopefully I'll sort out travel companion questions soon. Only wish that Michelle could come :[

The Power of the Advert

2010-02-23T21:38:00.005-05:00

I'm a cynical person with no respect for large corporations. Fast Food Nation has given me even more justification for such views. That book gives countless examples of how companies target children to create lifelong customers, utilizing psychology to get them hooked. That's horrible.

Most of this happens through TV advertisements when children are too young and mentally undeveloped to understand the difference between their cartoons and commercials. But those commercials stay in their heads forever.

I am forever grateful that I wasn't allowed to watch much TV as a kid. I have no unhealthy attachments to large corporations. I am a free-thinking human being who never fell into their psychological traps.

I notice that most people around me have some sort of brand-loyalty or name-brand obsessions. I am free of those as well. I grew up wearing my cousins' hand-me-downs. I was never cool. And I am glad of this. I possess the ability to define myself - corporations have not taken that from me as they have from scores of people. I feel no need to conform, to fit in, to be "cool". I feel the need to be logical, to be whatever I want.

My individuality has not been repressed. Thora: 1, Corporate America: 0. Win.

I would like to point out that I'm obviously not the only one. And the main reason I escaped companies' brainwashing is because I lacked exposure to their advertisements. Thank you, controlling parents (That isn't said often. Don't look for it again.)

What You Are

2010-02-17T18:16:00.003-05:00

Sometimes comics have deep messages.

Page 63 of Khaos:
"Bodies are just machines. Your mind is what you are."

<3

Play. Repeat.

2010-02-16T18:29:00.004-05:00

Well, I managed to concentrate long enough yesterday to reformat this blog :) YAY.

Today, I've been listening to Green Day's "Peacemaker" and Jack Penate's "Pull My Heart Away" over and OVER again <3

This is what I do when I find songs I like. Listen to them repeatedly. And fail to tire of them. And when I find something new, I go and obsess over that for a while :]

Some other songs I've listened to countless times are:

Telekinesis: Awkward Kisser

Arctic Monkeys: Crying Lightning

The Raveonettes: Last Dance

MGMT: Electric Feel

Wolfmother: Far Away

Franz Ferdinand: Ulysses

Muse: Undisclosed Desires

The Decemberists: The Rake's Song

Unicorn Kid: Goodbye

Super Junior: Sorry Sorry

These songs make me happy <3

Go on, have a listen. They're delightful (to use Michelle's current favorite adjective ^^).

I've even linked them for you. I have far too much time on my hands (that's a lie. I just don't want to do my physics homework :P)

Concentration

2010-02-15T16:02:00.003-05:00

This is horrible. I can't concentrate at all. Usually I'm really good at making myself get things done, but then there are some days where I literally cannot concentrate on anything, regardless of what it is. I doubt I could even get through a single page of a book right now. It will be miraculous if I even finish writing this.

I need to finish an essay, practice guitar, and work on a painting. But I just can't. It's inexplicable. I really don't like this. I like being efficient! I am always slightly distracted - I get sidetracked by comics, books, and the internet - but I usually manage to get myself back to my original task. Except now.

I can't find words to describe this. And my attention span isn't long enough right now to search for them.

Attempting to Unblock The Mind

2010-02-15T15:11:00.002-05:00

I once again find myself needing to finish an essay, but severely lacking the motivation. And so I take the things I learned at nerd camp and apply them - to start writing, to just write something. So I'm writing this. Perhaps it will help unblock my mind.

I have a guitar lesson later today, and, as usual, haven't practiced much until today. I dunno how I expect to become a decent guitar player if I never really practice. That's not entirely true. I play my guitar almost every day, but I don't play the song I should be learning until an hour before my lesson. It's not that I don't like the songs I'm learning - I really do like them - I just can't be bothered to sit down and listen to the song, figure out the tempo, read the tabs, and commit it all to memory. I really need to get over my laziness and just do it. Gah. I just need to try harder - maybe then I'll measure up to some of my really talented friends *wishful thinking*.

What else? Yesterday was Valentine's Day, but I pretty much summed that up in yesterday's DailyBooth, so I won't bother repeating that.

I'm reading The Catcher in The Rye at the moment (YES, I know loads of people are reading it now because JD Salinger died, but I did start it months ago - only then my brother nicked it from me and didn't give it back until now). I've realized that I love books in which the main character just sort of rambles - if it's well written, that is. I Am The Messenger was like that, too, and it's one of my favorite books ever.

I've kind of started pondering how different my life will be in a matter of mere months. I'm excited. Ecstatic. I cannot wait.

I seriously need to just graduate now. I am so done with this place, this life.

I'm still not feeling up to writing an essay on fast food (which is what I should be doing). Basically all I have to say on the matter is: "Fast food is repulsive and I don't understand people's attraction to it. That is all."

I have a feeling that won't be an acceptable essay. Even if I make the font big enough to take up the required two pages. (Can anyone tell that "senioritis" has hit? Yeah, me too. Like I said, graduation can't come too soon.)

Different Standards

2010-01-13T23:26:00.000-05:00

Since my last post, I've thought of something.

It isn't just that women have higher/more unreasonable standards for what is beautiful, it's that society as a whole has different standards. An average-looking woman is just that, average. Or maybe even plain. But an average-looking man is decent-looking.

For example, compare these two sets of numbers:

Number of people who have told me I'm an attractive girl: 2

Number of people who have told me I'd make an attractive guy: 12

Rather a difference, isn't there?

Well, as I once mentioned to Kaylinn, at least I know that if I become a tranny, I'm pretty much set, appearance-wise.

Beauty

2010-01-13T19:49:00.000-05:00

Today, in Language & Composition, a class I usually detest, I was intrigued. We did something interesting and amusing. We read an article titled "The Ugly Truth About Beauty". I'm putting it below, you need to read it. Commentary shall follow :)

BEGIN ARTICLE!

If you're a man, at some point a woman will ask you how she looks.

"How do I look?" she'll ask.

You must be careful how you answer this question. The best technique is to form an honest yet sensitive opinion, then collapse on the floor with some kind of fatal seizure. Trust me, this is the easiest way out. Because you will never come up with the right answer.

The problem is that women generally do not think of their looks in the same way that men do. Most men form an opinion of how they look in the seventh grade, and they stick to it for the rest of their lives. Some men form the opinion that they are irresistible stud muffins, and they do not change this opinion even when their faces sag and their noses bloat to the size of eggplants and their eyebrows grow together to form what appears to be a giant forehead-dwelling tropical caterpillar.

Most men, I believe, think of themselves as average-looking. Men will think this even if their faces cause heart failure in cattle at a range of 300 yards. Being average does not bother them; average is fine for men. This is why men never ask anybody how they look. Their primary form of beauty care is to shave themselves, which is essentially the same form of beauty care that they give to their lawns. If, at the end of his four-minute daily beauty regimen, a man has managed to wipe most of the shaving cream out of his hair and is not bleeding too badly, he feels that he has done all he can, so he stops thinking about his appearance and devotes his mind to more critical issues, such as the Super Bowl.

Women do not look at themselves this way. If I had to express, in three words, what most women think about their appearance, those words would be: "not good enough." No matter how attractive a woman may appear to others, when she looks at herself in the mirror, she thinks, "woof." She thinks that at any moment a municipal animal-control officer is going to throw a net over her and haul her off to the shelter.

Why do women have such low self-esteem? There are many complex psychological and societal reasons, by which I mean "Barbie." Girls grow up playing with a doll proportioned such that, if it were human, it would be seven feet tall and weigh 81 pounds, of which 53 pounds would be bosoms. This is a difficult appearance standard to live up to, especially when you contrast it with the standard set for little boys by their dolls . . . excuse me, by their action figures. Most of the action figures that my son played with when he was little were hideous looking. For example, he was fond of an action figure (part of the He-Man series) called "Buzz-Off," who was part human, part flying insect. Buzz-Off was not a looker. But he was extremely self-confident. You could not imagine Buzz-Off saying to the other action figures, "Do you think these wings makes my hips look big?"

But women grow up thinking they need to look like Barbie, which for most women is impossible, although there is a multibillion-dollar beauty industry devoted to convincing women that they must try. I once saw an Oprah show wherein supermodel Cindy Crawford dispensed makeup tips to the studio audience. Cindy had all these middle-aged women apply beauty products to their faces; she stressed how important it was to apply them in a certain way, using the tips of their fingers. All the women dutifully did this, even though it was obvious to any sane observer that no matter how carefully they applied these products, they would never look remotely like Cindy Crawford, who is some kind of genetic mutation.

I'm not saying that men are superior. I'm just saying that you're not going to get a group of middle-aged men to sit in a room and apply cosmetics to themselves under the instruction of Brad Pitt, in hopes of looking more like him. Men would realize that this task was pointless and demeaning. They would find some way to bolster their self-esteem that did not require looking like Brad Pitt. They would say to Brad, "Oh YEAH? Well what do you know about LAWN CARE, pretty boy?"

Of course many women will argue that the reason they become obsessed with trying to look like Cindy Crawford is that men, being as shallow as a drop of spit, WANT women to look that way. To which I have two responses:

1. Hey, just because WE'RE idiots, that does not mean YOU have to be; and

2. Men don't even notice 97 percent of the beauty efforts you make anyway. Take fingernails. The average woman spends 5,000 hours per year worrying about her fingernails; I have never once, in more than 40 years of listening to men talk about women, heard a man say, "She has a nice set of fingernails!" Many men would not notice if a woman had upward of four hands.

Anyway, to get back to my original point: If you're a man, and a woman asks you how she looks, you're in big trouble. Obviously, you can't say she looks bad. But you also can't say that she looks great, because she'll think you're lying, because she has spent countless hours, with the help of the multibillion-dollar beauty industry, obsessing about the differences between herself and Cindy Crawford. Also, she suspects that you're not qualified to judge anybody's appearance. This is because you have shaving cream in your hair.

END ARTICLE!

Right. I would like to point out that I was laughing during this entire article. Brilliant stuff.

But it was more than just amusing, it was thought-provoking as well. The biggest thought that crossed my mind was probably "What the hell have society and gender roles done to us?!" (Thank you for that, nerd camp - we spent an entire week on gender roles; it's now engrained in my mind.)

But seriously, this really sucks. Women most definitely have lower self-esteem than men, and it's decidedly detrimental to their happiness. How have men managed to escape this? Also, it's incredibly irritating that society places feminine beauty so high on the list of things that are valued and important.

I don't really have anything of huge value or any massive insights to add to this, but I just thought I'd share this article, because it makes a good point. And also amuses me. That's rather important as well.

Acceptance

2009-12-10T19:14:00.000-05:00

I just got an acceptance letter from a university. A university that is freaking amazing.

This time next year, I will be there.

This is so fucking epic.

I'm pretty ecstatic.

Thought I'd share.

Hi

2009-12-09T17:12:00.000-05:00

O HAI there, somewhat neglected blog.

Let's talk about stuff, shall we? Yes.

Yesterday was "International Dress Up Like a Time Traveler Day". 'Twas EPIC. I combined Doctor Who with The Bar Code Tattoo and a touch of The Matrix to create THIS:

I greatly enjoyed saying 'Alons-y' while wearing a trenchcoat, pinstriped trousers, and Chucks. ^^ Being a nerd is fun. :D

Yeah. Basically that was awesome. Although most people at school were probably thinking 'wtf.... leather trenchcoat....?' [Although Elliott was appreciative of it]

***

Today I learned that my roomie, Karen, from nerd camp is coming to visit over winter break. ^^ Which means I shall see Jack and Rob as well. Yay!

Made me think about how I rarely see my favorite people :(

Michelle's at uni. Most of my lovely nerd camp friends live on opposite coasts. And internet peoples live across the pond. Fail.

That is all I have to say at the moment. I'm skyping Michelle at the moment and can't be bothered to type two things simultaneously anymore. Thus this post ends now.

Compliments & Short Hair

2009-11-17T19:43:00.000-05:00

This past week I have learned that compliments make me rather uncomfortable. I knew this before, but it's become even more apparent to me in the past 6 days.

I cut my hair drastically shorter last Wednesday and ALL WEEK people have been telling me how "cute" (I detest that word. Ugh. I know they mean well, but still.) and generally awesome it is. Obviously this is preferable to people telling me I look horrid, but I still can't do much besides mumble an embarrassed "er, thanks", turn red, or just sound like an ungrateful, arrogant jerk with an uncomfortable "eh". Social failure. [surprise]

I need to sort this out and be more gracious.

But anyways, short hair is pretty cool, although rather more maintenance than long hair, it seems, since I have to straighten it every day to make it look decent. Ah well.

I need to get some intense-strength hairspray or gel or something so I can make it look even more rad. I wonder if I could pull off anime hair... I shall have to experiment :]

"Self-Discovery"

2009-11-08T14:14:00.000-05:00

I recently finished reading John Krakauer's Into The Wild (which is an awesome book, by the way - I most definitely recommend it. It's one of the few books that I've been forced to read for school that I actually enjoyed). Having read this book, of course I also have to do research about it and its themes and whatnot (apparently reading purely for the sake of reading isn't good enough). And one of the main themes is "self-discovery". I have a bit of an issue with the whole concept of self-discovery. Because the self isn't discovered, it's created. You are what you make yourself, not what you find of yourself. There is nothing to find but empty space until you fill it with whatever you want. This will sound horrifically clichéd, but you can become whatever you want, so long as you actively do something about it. Going into nature and secluding yourself from the world isn't going to solve your identity issues, for Christ's sake. If you aren't sure who you are, make something of yourself. Ponder what you want to be and then embody that. Inner contemplation in the woods somewhere isn't going to change anything - the power of thought is limited to what you actually do with your thoughts. I just cannot stand people who whine about not knowing "who they are." That is such crap. You can't know what you are until you become something. If you don't know who you are, they you quite honestly can't be much of anything yet. You are a blank canvas.

Go forth and fill it.

Background

2009-11-02T18:56:00.000-05:00

This isn't a legit post, I'm just using this to see if I can link this picture back to this in the html to use it as my background.

Carry on, nothing to see here.

No Adherence to One Topic

2009-11-02T18:32:00.000-05:00

Ew. I noticed that the last post was complainy/angry. Let's avoid that now.

Today, at school, I did nothing. 'Twas lovely. Most of the school was gone for some big important soccer game downtown, but I forgot to get a permission slip, so I read Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol (which is reaaally good btw) all day ^^. There's another game Thursday, so I'll probably go to that one. Yay for missing school!

I have musical rehearsal from 6:30 to 10 tonight. It's the first night with the pit orchestra so that'll be GREAT....

I dunno if I ever mentioned here that I finally got a new (and functional!) cell phone a couple weeks ago. It's a Sony Ericsson c510a and it's fantastic. <3

I'm lucky that large unattractive sweaters are currently socially acceptable because my room is cold and wearing a coat indoors elicits strange looks from the rents, so I'm wearing a large orange knitted sweater to keep from freezing. That was an unnecessarily long sentence. Who do I think I am, Henry David Thoreau?

OH RIGHT. Halloween. Halloween was good. I was Tom from Khaos Komix. Pictures are here and a video is here. I'm too lazy to repeat all that here. There's also a short instrumental clip that I wrote at the beginning of the video, in case you only like my music and not my ramblings.

Low

2009-10-26T22:05:00.000-04:00

This is an angry blog post. Just thought I'd bluntly put that out there.

Bluntness. Let's continue with that.

Ok. I have low self-esteem. According to some literature on gender roles I read this summer at nerd camp, this is because my dad rarely gives out compliments. This is true. Compliments from him are a novelty.

But anyways. Low self-esteem is generally not good when combined with constant criticism. Which seems to be some new hobby of my mother's. It's pissing me off. I'm already unhappy with myself, and then she constantly finds fault with me and my actions, making me feel even worse. And angry.

For example, tonight (and every other goddamn night, it seems something similar happens) I was eating the cookie my mom bought at the grocery store for me today. Every week, she goes to the store and gets four cookies - one for each of her children. I hadn't eaten mine yet until now. So I'm standing next to the counter eating away at my lovely chocolate cookie (partially to calm myself down about tomorrow's calc test) and she gives me this disapproving look and tells me that I eat too many sweets. Right. Let's analyze the idiocy of this statement.

1. YOU bought me this cookie, mom. Therefore, if you don't like what I'm eating, don't buy it so that I can't eat it. Problem sorted.

2. ONE cookie somehow is too many sweets now? And all 3 of my brothers can eat the exact same thing and then some and that's somehow not too much for them? Fuck your double standards.

3. Thanks for implying that I'm fat. Great. Brilliant thing to tell a teenage girl. Awesome. Self-esteem levels just plummeted. Fantastic. It'll take hours of practicing guitar to bring that back up.

4. Unnecessary criticism is just that - unnecessary. Jerk.

Ugh.

Learned

2009-10-25T00:09:00.000-04:00

Tonight I learned some things.

- Apparently I'd be quite attractive as a guy, according to my friends. Not really sure how to take that to be honest.

- Strobe lights + techno music = awesome dance party :]

- Some people you can not see for 3 years and be exactly as good of friends as you were before after about 10 minutes. I love people like this. Usually if I don't see someone for such a long period of time, we both change and I hate what they've become or they're the same and I hate what I used to love about them. But some people are static in their levels of awesome <3

- Some swing dancing moves. Hahaha. Swing dancing and strobe lighting is a pretty rad combination too.

- I suck at arcade games. Ridiculous.

- I don't understand some people's relationships. They don't make sense to me. If your boyfriend spends more time with your brother than with you - that, that doesn't make sense.

- Dressing as a guy and going to a party where there are a lot of scantily clad girls dancing with you makes all the other guys VERY jealous of you. It's quite amusing. Muhahaha :D

- Rammstein makes for some pretty awesome dance moves.

- The more I play with my new phone, the more fantastic I discover it is <3

- I am going to be very tired tomorrow morning if I don't turn my computer off soon.

Halloween [and then some unrelated things]

2009-10-21T17:13:00.001-04:00

HALLOWEEN <3

Best. Holiday. Ever.

:D :D

As I posted on a DailyBooth thread yesterday,

"what's not to love about a holiday where it is socially acceptable to dress up in a costume and parade about demanding sweets? ^^ plus i enjoy scaring children. because i hate children."

I'm also incredibly excited about my costume this year - Tom from Khaos - he's a fantastic character and my costume is going to be RAD. Seriously, what's not exciting about dressing up as a really awesome webcomic character who has loads of epic tattoos and piercings? I'm excited. I shall post the pictures here on Halloween.

Also, every year for Drama Club we host a haunted house in which we.... scare children. Obviously. That is incredibly fun. My role usually consists of getting murdered in front of the children's eyes and screaming my lungs out. Good times. This year's theme is plane crash/cannibal island so that should be fun :)

And this weekend I have both a RockBand battle (part III I think it is by now) and a Halloween party. I love this season ^___^

And while I'm talking about good things, apparently I get to do spot lighting for the musical instead of backstage work. So I get to be in the booth and all that instead of stripping down the entire cast and frantically running about adjusting microphones. Yay! Michelle had this job last year I seem to recall (how was it? - I haven't been roped into some horrible job have I?)

That is all for now, I believe. Oh! One more thing - I'm also working on a cover of Alex Day's "Holding On" - so look out for that in a few weeks :)

Fights

2009-10-07T21:44:00.000-04:00

One thing I will never be able to understand is how people get into idiotic petty fights.

And I don't mean arguments. I argue a lot, but I don't create ongoing fights out of such things. Am I alone in feeling that such drawn-out disagreements are completely unnecessary? Do people like creating stupid drama? Ugh. It just seems that there are always two of my friends who are "in a fight" and won't talk to each other for some completely idiotic reason. Christ, teenage girls are stupid.

Anger

2009-09-30T19:39:00.001-04:00

It feels rather like anger is the only emotion I'm capable of feeling. I can get excited and geek out about things and feel content, yes, but most of the time, if I feel anything, it's anger.

Usually I'm just in a state of indifference. It's like my defense mechanism or something. I'm around so many things and people I can't stand, that I have to feel indifferent or I'd implode. But then the smallest things will set me off. My buttons get pushed, and I snap. It's not like I go on violent rampages or anything - but I give out some harsh verbal lashings to anything that irritates me.

Take today, for example. My friends were being slightly annoying by teasing me. Instead of being good-natured about it, I did nothing but glare at them angrily and throw bitter comments their way. God, I must unbearable to be around. I can't stand being around myself sometimes. Which is a problem, really, since I most definitely can't escape my own presence.

Fucking hell.

Reading over this, the only words that come to mind are "Goddamn emo. Get a diary."